Have sex with a blonde man and tell him it worked.

change his hair to purple while hes sleeping and tell him you want purple haired kids

@11: Correct me if I am wrong, but if we assume that the OP is Chinese (and thus has naturally dark-coloured hair), wouldn't it mean that it is biologically impossible for her to conceive blonde-haired children, since the genes for dark-coloured hair are dominant over the genes for blonde hair? But if you are just trolling or making a joke or being sarcastic, then I apologise!

It would be approx. 25% chance blond 75% chance not blond.

Ok, thanks for the information!

Only if OP were a carrier of a blonde gene herself, would there be a chance of one of her kids turning out blonde. That means that one of her ancestors had to have been blonde, and either her mother or father had to have carried a gene for blonde hair. If OP's two hair-colour genes are both genes for black hair, she could never get a child with blonde hair.

Closet blonde

41- what kind of vehicle are you in lol, I like how it says kph

Maybe he was trying to become a super saiyan?

Let me set up the little diagram for genes b b D Db Db D Db Db Punnet square shows there would be a 100% chance for dark haired children with a recessive blonde gene if we assume that op is full Chinese.

The kid would always have dark hair no matter what.

Indeed :)

Well he certainly has the brains of one

127 - ford escape driving the 407 in Canada we are in kph not mph

Yep definitely dark haired unless both of them have Dd for a gene then there would be a 25% of him being blonde.

Why Chinese? Why not German?

Even if she has a recessive gene I have two dark haired parents and my brother is Blond he has a dark haired wife and there 3 kids are blond she has no blond in her history 2nd I am dark haired ( native ) and my wife is Asian we have a blond child and once again she has no family that is Blond or showing and pictures show no blonds in her history So as much as everyone is saying no chance i guess we are all just freaks Forgive the grammar at work Don't have time to appease the grammar gods

Haha ya. I mean he was just having "blonde" moment ;)

#177 because op is from china

173 = facepalm

1- it's not like your comment is overused or anything... >_>

Lamarcks theory was wrong.

According to studies (which I hate), if you marry someone of low intelect, then you also have low intelect. If you marry a smart person, then you are probably smart, too.

In his heart is a tightly wound curl of blonde hair.

I like your biology reference...

it's kmh..

Oh.. derp.. I'm on the android app, so I didn't know that info. Sorry!

What if she's not Chinese? Is anyone forgetting this one detail.

Assuming she's from a traditional chinese family, she probably had an arranged marriage. So you're pretty much screwed OP. FYL

She mainly deserves it because she ant even spell blonde right

ryry98, Oh My ******* god! 1) It can be spelled "BLOND" or "BLONDE" 2) OP lives in china, chances are English isn't her first language. Look it up before commenting, idiot!

98- You mainly deserve to be smacked. When you comment on someones spelling, be sure that you manage to spell a simple word like "can't" right. It also couldn't hurt to use punctuation as well.

You sure he's not a natural blonde?

We kinda gathered your already married to him after you called him your 'husband'.

Kill him before it's too late

Wait that doesn't work?

I wonder if your kids will get the luxury of being very intelligent like your husband sure has, OP. Good luck raising kids with this guy.

I dyed my hair pink and my children's hair turned out pink. It 100% works! Haha

if OP's husband found out about this her children would end up bastards. no one likes a bastard child I tell you whhhat

Things*

Maybe he wants to be Slim Shady.

Could also be the word *what instead of *the...

I'm not shocked by what stupid people do anymore, there are just so many of them doing dumb things it becomes a normal thing, and you get kind of desensitized to it.

*Thongs* What?

GAME BUZZER/ Wrong, Hitler had a black hair. You're thinking "aryan", not Hitler.

Hitler wanted the world to have blonde hair blue eyes..

Hitler wanted his "perfect race" to rule. Ironically enough, he himself was nowhere close to the description of the typical "aryan" type. No blond hair, no blue eyes, not tall, not physically 100% healthy, he wasn't even German and some even say his own mother was jewish (that last part is a rumor, I cannot vouch for it.). He was just a childish tyrant that was rotten with jealousy, had a delusional idea of grandeur and was cunning enough (though giving him all the credit would be simply foolish) to see and exploit the weaknesses of the german people of the time. (I'm sorry, I really needed to get that one out.)

111- Wow! I am so impressed with your knowledge! :) His mother was Jewish though. They did a huge program on National Geographic on him. The problem with Hitler was that he was such a child and he never grew up. He wanted to be nothing like his father. His dreams were to be a famous artist and, quite frankly, he sucked at it. When he failed at being an artist, he threw a fit and decided he was going to rule the world. (The historians got that info from Hitlers journals). He turned out to be his father in the end.. Except much more evil.

Hitler didn't decide he wanted to rule the world because he wasn't a good artist. Quite frankly, Hitler was a very talented artist.

I think he got angry when he was rejected by an art school whose owner was Jewish. His drawings are good, to be honest.

159 and 174- His rejection at the Art Institute had nothing, at all, to do with the owner being Jewish or anything of the sort. He was rejected because his art style was different and disliked by the owner and admissions staff at the Institute. Which only added to his hate for people. And yes, that was the final straw for Adolf Hitler. That is what made him go into the military. And that is what made him turn into the biggest brat to ever live. When he was rejected, he went into a tantrum and he filled up 3 of his journals plotting against everyone and journaled about his plan to take over the world. He, basically, lucked in to his spot of authority that he gained. And, therefore, gave him the needed power to live out his plan.

Godwin.

If he was a "childish tyrant", he wouldn't have conquered most of Europe. Just saying.

Yea, sadly i have to say Hitler wasn't childish. He frankly had the best military strategy. The only flaws he made (that i know of) was invading russia and promising japan to follow suit if they declared war with america bacause he saw the americans cut off japans supply of oil. All this is what i learned in school. Another mistake i read in a book about WWII was him invading sweden or some northern smaller country during the winter COMPLETLY unprepared (they mostly died of cold cause they were in summer cloths) sorry about grammer and spelling, this is right off the head, correct me if im wrong. Had he not make the 2 big mistakes though, im sure more of the world would be speaking german about now

Acually now that im thinking of it more, im not sure if it was over the oil, because idk if he promised to follow suit before or after the americans cut japans oil. Interesting all around

He didn't totally suck at art. It just didn't stand out. He had quite an impressionist style to his paintings. So he got mad and decided to trash and steal all the art he could.

When I say childish, I mean the whole "I'll destroy all of you meanies!" attitude that kinda started it all. The fact that he could not bear failure is childish. Etc, etc. You get the picture. And Silentbutfunny, I'd say that Hitler's biggest mistake was going bonkers and starting genocides (some people actually claim they never happened. The denial some humans being sometimes shroud themselves in never ceases to amaze me.). When it comes down to strategics, he wasn't much of a brainer; he had loads of followers and THEY were evil geniuses, especially when it came down to inveting new ways to torture the defenseless. Though Hitler had a few ideas of his own, he became much more of a figure after a while and, ironically enough his name was not the most feared in most places since he hardly did any of the "dirty work". By saying this I do not want, in any way, to lessen his crimes. And imagine the world speaking german... Well the idea sends shivers down my spine because it would mean that the UK never landed in the Normandie, that the south of France never fought for their country and freedom, that the US of A never decided to stop selling weapons to both sides and never decided to finally testing their nukes on Japan, etc.. etc... (this is not an attack on the USA. Please don't try to act like a patriotic fanatic and make peace with the fact that some of our forefathers behaved like greedy chickens. Hell, I'm french and I can laugh at the faces of arrogant french ignorants that claim France never gave up and always kept fighting.) And I'd go as far as to claim that, hadn't history taken it's course the way it has (or more exactly, the way it is told), someone would've stood up against the Reich anyways. Hell, who'd want to be forced to learn and speak german? It's really a personnal choice; some people really can't stand that language ( I know I couldn't at first)... ;-) Anyway, let's just learn our lesson: tyrans always fall, as everybody dies and most humans are sane enough to dislike captivity, torture, endless hate, war, traumas and death. Etc, etc. (I'm trying to keep this short since I really do NOT want to start an actual discussion about A.H. since it has nothing to do with the FML and we're just spamming. Well... I am for sure...^^) Cheers. :-)

That's funny

Unfortunately, no one will.

Hey 24 why play the race game? grow up stop being racist

At 46, nothing in 24's comment pointed to racism -_-

Unfortunately?

I do.

It's not about race. It's about the fact that guy can't make any comment relevant to any of the stories he puts it on. In short he is some village's idiot and he gained control of some poor saps computer.

I do too.

Whoa 106, you don't have to be rude, first off English is his second language, so sometimes his humor gets lost in translation, and two I've seen some of your comments, and even if they were relevant to the stories they are sometimes worse then his, so stop throwing stones in that glass house of yours.

106- That is just terrible of you to say!! My feelings were hurt just seeing you say that. He doesn't know any better. He doesn't know what's 'cool' to say. Leave him alone! It is a proven fact that the English language is the most complicated to learn. So give him a break! You may think he's an idiot, but I'm sure you're an idiot to someone else!

Proven fact? Unlikely. (Agreed with everything else you said, though).

Wittygirl, you're nothing but an asshole. First of all, Teyyoshi not an idiot. WHY? He's learning English, AND he's a major in physics. Second, i've seen worse, way worse than Teyyoshi's comment's (I'm not calling his comments bad). Before you complain about "HE CANT COMMENT ABOUT TEH FML, HES STUPID", learn about the guy first, he actually is learning English, and knows about a certain subject more than you, ergo: You're a village idiot!

The grammar & lack of punctuation in your profile, along with your bleeding eyes picture, coupled with your piss poor attitude about this guy trying to fit into a culture he isn't familiar with, makes my head hurt. Basically, STFU, you're not qualified to be the cool police...or the intelligence cops either. 'wittygirl' my ass...

Wait! Stop! Let Teyyoshi defend himself! He must master... .... THE PHLAYMEWAR

130- It is a proven fact. Look it up. I think teyyoshi is doing a fantastic job at learning English considering how far he's come since the first comment I saw him post till now. Keep it up, teyyoshi! You're getting better by the day! ;)

You got saying wrong, but even if it does get lost in translation he is always off topic and the joke hes off topic about is never even funny. You said not all of 106's jokes are funny( to you) but they are usually at least relevant. All in all hop off of 106's penis for saying aloud what we are all thinkin

No matter what he thinks is cool or what he is majoring in, staying relevant to what is your commenting on should make sense in any language. And if i cant do something why do it anyway. I cant fly so do i jump from a cliff? You people scrutinize a person and punish and make fun of a person for saying "first" but he has a small disability as he is still learning, but should a person in a wheelchair be able to commit murder? I think not.

Is this argument even worth it?

164- Actually I didn't get the saying wrong it means "Those who are vulnerable should not attack others," I just thought I would clear that up, and if she wanted to say she didn't like his comments she could of just said that, she didn't have to be rude about it.

GoW_Chick- First of all, I'm just going to start calling you Chick! Haha My phone makes me, pretty much, jump through hoops to type your name out. You'll know who I'm talking about when I say 'Chick'. Anyway, the guy was trying to be Mr. Technical by saying that the saying is wrong because it's said 'You shouldn't throw stones when you live in a glass house'. But, like I said, he was being too technical about it. Everybody understands what you were saying. So don't worry about it! I actually like the little twist of words in it! :)

166- You say "If I can't do something, why do it anyway?". You do it because you are determined to get it right! Teyyoshi is bound determined to learn English. Sure, he can't do it perfectly right now, but he IS getting better. Practice makes perfect. And THAT'S why you do something when you can't do it. 'Can't never could do anything. But practice makes perfect. And determination is the road to get you there.' Those are the wisest words I've ever heard before. If only everyone would take that and use it...

164- Do you know how many words get lost in a translation? I've been trying to learn English for the better part of 4 years and I still make a lot of common mistakes. Do you realise how hard the English language is to learn? Try learning a different language and typing or speaking in it fluently when you first start.

REALLY people? REALLY??? FYL's for... wait.. y'all don't have a life because you're too busy arguing over stupid shit on FML. Do you see the chinese dude on here arguing? No, because he probably has a life and he knows that it's got to be the dumbest thing to argue about. Did anyone ever think he was saying that to be funny? Saying something irrelevant is usually funny! Dumbasses.

46- That had nothing to do with race. At all. #5 just made a really stupid joke, that wasn't funny.

I guess no one realizes my logic.

I would

Ur hideous

24 - what an unecessary thing to say.

Yeah it was pointing out his retarded comment and smile

I love when people stick together on this stuff, I think it's great he is taking time to learn another language. It is a very hard thing to do, so thumbs up for the effort.

There are people dumb enough to believe that...which is why this comment scares me...

hahahahahahahahahah

Mentally blonde lol