Intimacy: Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!"...

By anonymous - 03/02/2011 05:17

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 286

You deserved it 6 454

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Same thing different taste

By mrssagdiyev - 05/03/2011 14:19 - United States

Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 625

You deserved it 5 444

By fmlalways - 22/01/2011 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 780

You deserved it 5 152

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 339

You deserved it 5 178

By anonymous - 19/02/2011 13:12 - United States

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 064

You deserved it 7 397

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 079

You deserved it 51 000

Big kid

By Anonymous - 08/09/2012 14:20 - United States - Rhodes

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 386

You deserved it 5 717

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 21:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 145

You deserved it 4 215

Grammy award winner

By blow away - 28/07/2014 04:36 - United States - Middletown

Today, my husband played a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 361

You deserved it 4 573

No gods no masters

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 09:00 - United States - North Royalton

Today, during a intense orgasm I screamed, "You're my God!" at my husband. Afterwards, he told me I was blasphemous and reminded me that God smites those with false prophets. Needless to say, I think I'll just keep my mouth shut in the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 172

By Kate - 07/06/2011 07:50 - United States

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 660

You deserved it 44 199

jewban 3

Thursday 3 February 2011 12:19

jamonaaaaa!!!!! HEeHEe

SirSantpoort 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 12:20

Its your husband.. Who cares if he makes a joke like that.. As long as he doesnt do it all the time :)

Comments

AsiaTheMega123 1

Thursday 3 February 2011 23:08

Lmao!

chazpedersen 0

Friday 4 February 2011 2:08

haha that doesn't suck, that's just funny!!! :D

musicbunny 1

Friday 4 February 2011 2:33

OMG I hate people who post stuff like this!!! THAT IS NOT AN FML. it's not even that freakin bad!!!!!!!!!!!! *grumbles angrily to self*

izzybd 20

Friday 4 February 2011 2:52

I would find this funny. people who don't have a sense of humor during sex, fail

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Friday 4 February 2011 3:51

What did his O-face look like? HEE-HEE! WOO! JAAMMMMOONAA

twilgirl 1

Friday 4 February 2011 4:06

lol!!

meeba 2

Friday 4 February 2011 4:22

imitating michael jackson is hard

blackaspoop 0

Friday 4 February 2011 4:50

YDI for looking like a little boy... ZING

PrettyBoy_Jayy 0

Friday 4 February 2011 5:11

hahaha wow this is funny. x)

MustangFilly77 9

Friday 4 February 2011 5:29

Why "FML", that's awesome!!

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 315

You deserved it 2 040

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 471

The Top

Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 110

You deserved it 7 707

Today, my dad came over and ordered me, a 43 year-old woman, to purchase a kitchen table. He and my sisters are embarassed that we are still using a plastic folding table. It doesn't matter to them that we have just spent over $30,000 on renovations. His cousins are coming from Italy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 196

You deserved it 3 031

Today, a friend of mine enthusiastically explained to me how Elon Musk's car-tunnel-thing is supposed to work. I don't know what's worse, the dumbass tunnel or the fact that my friend thinks it's an amazing idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 1 064

Today, I tried to walk past chuds fighting in the street so I could catch my bus, except that when the police were rounding everyone up, I was mistakenly collared as well. To make it worse, some of the chuds claimed I threw the first punch. I just wanted to catch my bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 121

Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 631

You deserved it 3 645

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said, "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 849

You deserved it 3 779