Love: Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes...

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By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 17:01 - United States - Portland

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 370

You deserved it 3 112

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Same thing different taste

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 299

You deserved it 4 019

Pregnancy woes

By Spraylady - 29/02/2016 21:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I think my unborn child has developed a sense of humour. The little cherub is usually very calm, but must have realised that if he/she kicks me hard enough in this particular place near my bladder, I'll piss myself on the spot like a race horse. It's happened twice now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 331

You deserved it 1 786

Crack wars

By Grimmy - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Brunswick

Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 150

You deserved it 10 160

By Shantwozzlah - 26/03/2012 16:15 - United States - Kissimmee

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 855

You deserved it 3 591

By makehimscrubit - 14/09/2016 03:18 - United States - Hawthorne

Today, I found out the guys I live with have an ongoing contest to see if they can hit targets on the inside of the toilet lid with urine when they pee. I could forgive this in my seven-year-old son, but not my forty-year-old husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 159

You deserved it 1 391

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 10:42 - United States - Richmond

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 452

You deserved it 6 156

Get up!

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and I went to pee at 2 a.m., with the light off to avoid waking my husband. The wanker had left the seat up, so I fell right into the bowl and got stuck with my cheeks in the water because my belly wouldn’t let me get up. My useless sleeping husband couldn’t hear me yell for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 296

Letting yourself go

By Anonymous - 13/06/2022 12:00

Today, my husband is becoming more uncivilised the older he gets, as I had to remind him to put trousers on while we have guests in the house, and over dinner he was picking his belly button at the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 143

Do ya think I'm sexy?

By wifelyduties - 17/04/2020 14:00

Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 219

You deserved it 384

Relationship goals

By Anonymous - 17/05/2015 05:10 - United States

Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 515

You deserved it 2 700

flockz 19

Saturday 1 December 2012 19:17

he's seen too many Pillsbury Doughboy commercials.

Someone648 10

Saturday 1 December 2012 19:23

Well... Urine for a horrible time....

Comments

Austyn57 1

Sunday 2 December 2012 2:20

i love old peopl

DinosaurTacoTime 18

Sunday 2 December 2012 2:33

If its habit he might do it while you sit on him. Revenge.

greeneye_fml 12

Sunday 2 December 2012 2:38

So make kicking him in the balls after he pokes you your favorite game.

BlueFlatts 20

Sunday 2 December 2012 3:44

Doc, can you explain this one to me? Imagine if the Pilsbury Dough Boy had this problem.

BBBBOOOOYYYU 3

Sunday 2 December 2012 5:16

Wear a diaper then

asherm 15

Sunday 2 December 2012 7:07

It'll be funny for you when you play dick punch. He'll learn

xgetxbentx 13

Sunday 2 December 2012 7:32

Put something important to him inberween your legs and tell him that if he keeps it up you'll be sure to piss on all his belongings.

sairbeargirl 4

Sunday 2 December 2012 7:38

do pelvic floor exercises, they will help strengthen the muscles surrounding the bladder.

spottyblanket 8

Sunday 2 December 2012 11:02

Kick him in the graoin everytime he learns it, then it will stop being his new fave game.

HarpoKeane 12

Sunday 2 December 2012 11:42

Game on

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The Top

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

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You deserved it 16 360

Today, my parents came to the restaurant I work at as a waiter. After, I picked up the check to realize they had left me a $500 tip! We split the tips among the employees so I only got $50 back but I was still psyched. When I got home they asked me if I had noticed that they used my credit card. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 112

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I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 168

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I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 538

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I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 89

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I agree, your life sucks 12 197

You deserved it 47 805

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I agree, your life sucks 9 270

You deserved it 30 234