Kids: Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American... - FML

By Anonymous - 09/08/2014 13:31 - United States - Akron

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 348

You deserved it 7 358

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Father of the year

By Harvey knicks grandad - 10/02/2021 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my son told me he failed to get into the army, which I didn’t know he was trying to do. Apparently he thought playing Call of Duty non-stop counted as "experience" and that he’d become an officer rank straight away, despite being 10-stone overweight with the brains of a tree stump FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 254

Dumbass

By ParentingFail - 13/12/2022 15:00

Today, my 18 year-old son threatened to sue a store because they refused to give him a senior discount, at which point he trashed the store in a blind rage, and got banned for life. That would make more sense if he was actually a senior, not a senior in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 384

By Anonymous - 11/07/2016 07:58 - Bulgaria - Sofia

Today, my son finally got a job for the first time in his life. He only did it so he can upgrade his PC and buy Overwatch. He's 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 368

You deserved it 3 577

By fuckmylife - 02/02/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 452

You deserved it 39 390

Thank you for your service

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 17:00

Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 3 418

Stop the steal

By Anonymous - 21/07/2021 16:01

Today, my son admitted to maxing out my credit card, gambling on a some scam website that a dumbass streamer was promoting. He's only 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 418

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 21:27 - United States - Foxboro

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 180

You deserved it 7 963

Soldier boy

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 12:00

Today, after my idiot son joined the army, flew out on deployment, he then flew straight back home again after accidentally shooting himself. His squad leader said it was the most bizarre accident he’d ever seen while still being considered an accident. As I said, my son's an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 231

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 04:00

Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 438

By callofdutyhater - 21/08/2011 05:48 - United States

Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 898

You deserved it 5 942

Next

Top comments

JackSkellingtons 11

Saturday 9 August 2014 20:53

Well, did he get it?

WeakYoungTeen 21

Saturday 9 August 2014 20:56

You raised that...

Comments

Bullshic 8

Saturday 9 August 2014 21:29

you deserved it never raise your kid like that.

kingdomgirl94 29

Saturday 9 August 2014 21:39

yeah cause every stupid thing someone dies is their parents fault. Are your parents to blame for every act of stupidity you've ever done?

Fr0gs 15

Saturday 9 August 2014 21:48

God damn fifth prestige? Better give him what he wants fast and for free ^mad respect

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 9 August 2014 21:57

Worth a shot right? It it works I better get back to playing...

badwolf42913 1

Saturday 9 August 2014 22:00

You deserve it for not teaching him better

False_Stupidity 41

Saturday 9 August 2014 22:28

All you blaming the OP's parenting, you just don't get it do you? A child, especially a teenager is an independent, thinking(debatable) person with their own free will and no matter how well they are brought up, they will occasionally make decisions that are totally contrary to the way they were brought up, either because they are a bit of a rebel, or simply because it seemed like a good idea at the time.

FreeRunn3r 12

Monday 11 August 2014 20:30

you got a good point

trellz17 19

Saturday 9 August 2014 22:30

On COD Ghosts I'm 10th prestige! I get discounts at ihop AND free coffee at Dunkin Donuts!

inner_peace 19

Saturday 9 August 2014 22:37

It's impudent little punks like OP's son who make me wish that CoD never got as popular. Since when does sitting behind a TV screen with a controller make you on the same status as someone who's actually seen combat, and may have been injured or killed in the process? Holy shit, do kids these days really piss me off.

JKPwnage 27

Saturday 9 August 2014 22:46

Dear OP's idiot son, No one cares and Call of Duty sucks balls. Sincerely, Everyone

fantasyworld 37

Saturday 9 August 2014 22:50

I hope they laughed at him.

TwentyFourBeerz 18

Saturday 9 August 2014 22:53

And I should be able to race the Daytona 500 because I won a go kart race at Speedzone!

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

TV shows Miscellaneous Work Awkward Coworkers Politics Transportation Ironic Embarrassing Relatable Social Media Instagram Parenting Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Friends Dogs Housework Cars Porn Technology Sports Health Accident Mental health

The Top

Here's the latest video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com, enjoy! Kay Akana, co-founder of 10secondtraumas.com, is also a stand-up comedian in LA. Do go and check out her performances, she did manage to make us lot laugh! ...

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 974

You deserved it 10 760

The Top

Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 958

You deserved it 10 360

Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 761

You deserved it 3 355

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 148

You deserved it 3 223

Today, I woke up at 7, got to college by 7:40 to receive an email that my 8:00 a.m. class got cancelled. I stayed there until 12:00 p.m. for my second class, to then find out that the cancelled class was the one at 12:00, not 8:00. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 762

You deserved it 5 885

Today, I was taking medicine for my sinus problems and trying to write an essay. I got most of the way done, then unexpectedly fell asleep on my keyboard. When I woke up, my face was wet. I drowned my laptop in my drool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 255

You deserved it 6 363

Today, I was declined a sales position at a local store. As I headed out, I heard the interviewer telling a colleague, "Christ. That kid had less charisma than Microsoft Sam." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 137

You deserved it 1 769