Kids: Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American... - FML

By Anonymous - 09/08/2014 13:31 - United States - Akron

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 348

You deserved it 7 358

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Same thing different taste

Father of the year

By Harvey knicks grandad - 10/02/2021 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my son told me he failed to get into the army, which I didn’t know he was trying to do. Apparently he thought playing Call of Duty non-stop counted as "experience" and that he’d become an officer rank straight away, despite being 10-stone overweight with the brains of a tree stump FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 254

Dumbass

By ParentingFail - 13/12/2022 15:00

Today, my 18 year-old son threatened to sue a store because they refused to give him a senior discount, at which point he trashed the store in a blind rage, and got banned for life. That would make more sense if he was actually a senior, not a senior in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 384

By Anonymous - 11/07/2016 07:58 - Bulgaria - Sofia

Today, my son finally got a job for the first time in his life. He only did it so he can upgrade his PC and buy Overwatch. He's 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 368

You deserved it 3 577

By fuckmylife - 02/02/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 452

You deserved it 39 390

Thank you for your service

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 17:00

Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 3 418

Stop the steal

By Anonymous - 21/07/2021 16:01

Today, my son admitted to maxing out my credit card, gambling on a some scam website that a dumbass streamer was promoting. He's only 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 418

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 21:27 - United States - Foxboro

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 180

You deserved it 7 963

Soldier boy

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 12:00

Today, after my idiot son joined the army, flew out on deployment, he then flew straight back home again after accidentally shooting himself. His squad leader said it was the most bizarre accident he’d ever seen while still being considered an accident. As I said, my son's an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 231

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 04:00

Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 438

By callofdutyhater - 21/08/2011 05:48 - United States

Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 898

You deserved it 5 942

Next

Top comments

JackSkellingtons 11

Saturday 9 August 2014 20:53

Well, did he get it?

WeakYoungTeen 21

Saturday 9 August 2014 20:56

You raised that...

Comments

NickIrby 7

Tuesday 12 August 2014 0:47

This generation...

ryanator008 23

Tuesday 12 August 2014 6:15

A real American zero.

grant_erict 2

Tuesday 12 August 2014 7:54

He sounds like a good kid! You raised him right

Bluemonster0311 0

Wednesday 13 August 2014 19:04

I am also a vet, and if I was there I would of laughed. People shoudnt take shit so serious

SjoyousS 4

Tuesday 19 August 2014 18:42

he was probably a little kid?

Neo_Wicca 5

Sunday 7 September 2014 11:26

i would have slapped the fool upside his head and left him there

MonicaG 5

Sunday 1 February 2015 8:24

The kid got some brains.

generalmalaise 14

Tuesday 3 March 2015 3:33

Ha! I'm Master prestige

XxEmo_PaganxX 13

Friday 10 April 2015 4:49

That's what you get for letting him play a terrible game. Halo is much better. Not to mention actual vterans work damn hard for that. Your son is quite a moron, and selfish to boot.

SaltyC 10

Monday 13 April 2015 3:32

*spits out drink* "Only fifth prestige "???

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Keywords

Miscellaneous TV shows Coworkers Work Awkward Politics Embarrassing Ironic Relatable Transportation Instagram Social Media Shopping Parenting Love AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Kids Friends Dogs Pranks Housework Cars Technology Porn Health Sports Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, my 4 year-old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her cleavage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up, will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 556

You deserved it 4 813

Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 055

You deserved it 679

The Top

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 902

You deserved it 3 576

Today, my aunt asked to see my new airsoft pistol. Not thinking anything of it, I handed it to her. She shot me in the leg. I was standing next to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 218

You deserved it 4 505

Today, I told my husband it would be great to spend an evening with a bottle of wine and a pile of blankets on the balcony of our cabin during the cruise. He decided it would be great to ditch me and go out gambling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 208

You deserved it 6 262

Today, as I was about to get onto the bus, my bus pass fell out of my hands. Being in a rush, I barely picked it up from the street not having a good grasp of it, just to have it fall again as I was about to swipe it. It felt like the whole bus was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 217

Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 148

You deserved it 10 438

The Haka is legit.

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 64