Miscellaneous: Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight....

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 06:33 - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight. To divert attention, I pretended to be angry and accused her of prying into my social life. Actually, I have no social life and nobody to go out with. My only "big plans" were to finish my Sudoku book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 144

You deserved it 24 208

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Same thing different taste

By voltronn - 23/01/2010 05:04 - France

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 038

You deserved it 6 988

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 523

You deserved it 2 990

By cloudberry - 27/05/2012 08:00 - United States - Astoria

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 770

You deserved it 2 730

The great escape

By danny - 12/09/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I had to pretend my phone was broken because my mom kept calling to ask if she could join my friends and me for karaoke night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 92

Fake it til you make it

By aurelj1 - 03/08/2016 19:59 - United States - Colleyville

Today, I went out to dinner with my mom and several of her friends. My mom spent the entire night gushing about my Ivy League school and med student boyfriend. I attend a state university and I'm single. She threatened to cut me off if I didn't play along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 176

You deserved it 1 038

By Grounded - 29/12/2009 18:50 - United States

Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 259

You deserved it 3 855

You idiot!

By Anonymous - 28/10/2019 22:00

Today, I didn't want to hang out with my girlfriend so I could binge watch Pawn Stars instead. When she asked me why not, I lied not very convincingly and said my mom was sick and needed my help. She now thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 3 098

Who? Where? Why? What?

By up to no-good... - 22/08/2014 04:09 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 509

You deserved it 3 224

By hylianprincess - 25/09/2014 11:19 - United States

Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 701

You deserved it 3 270

By Anonymous - 08/02/2013 22:38 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 446

You deserved it 3 317

pbonham 22

Thursday 16 August 2012 12:59

Your mum was being nice to you!!! How could you be mean like that for no reason?!?!

LGuard 13

Thursday 16 August 2012 12:57

Just wow, sounds psychotic to me.

Comments

kaydeebee 6

Friday 17 August 2012 23:22

That's what you get for being a dick to your mom.

ryguy788 1

Saturday 18 August 2012 20:41

Lol, I dont have any friends either. Ever since I got put on medication.

PInK_ExCiTeD 7

Sunday 19 August 2012 7:39

Why would you do that?

ittybitttyme 8

Sunday 19 August 2012 7:55

There's a reason you have no friends.

Wolfipoo 31

Friday 10 July 2015 0:52

You deserve it OP, your mom was trying to include you in her life, most people have to deal with families who don't even talk.

Matttss 3

Tuesday 21 June 2016 22:14

I love sudoku too, but you should really get some friends I hope you'll be fine :)

123Puppy 33

Monday 26 October 2020 14:45

You shouldn’t be so mean to your mom...

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The Top

Today, there was a gas leak at work. We called the fire department, who advised us to evacuate the building. We called our manager to let her know, and her response was "Oh, don’t do that." My boss would rather let us die of carbon monoxide exposure than lose out on 3 hours of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 114

Today, I realized just how spoiled and immature my boyfriend is when I asked him several times what he’d like for dinner. Getting no answer, I made steak, potatoes and salad. He then sulked and refused to eat it, since he wanted spaghetti and meatballs instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 308

You deserved it 408

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 662

You deserved it 16 857

Today, I rang up a good friend to ask her to be one of the two bridesmaids at my upcoming wedding. Before I could ask, she let me know that she would not be attending my wedding, as, "Weddings are expensive, so I'm not attending ones for people that are just acquaintances." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 370

You deserved it 2 394

Today, I was eating Jell-O and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 530

You deserved it 68 078

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 940

You deserved it 3 240

Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 969

You deserved it 408

Today, I learned that my anxious and obsessive mother is going to drive three hours every weekend to attend a Johns Hopkins medical course on stress reduction. Why is this bad? I just left home for college and have enjoyed my last two weeks of freedom without her around. I attend Johns Hopkins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 388

You deserved it 3 341