Intimacy: Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked...

By Sabraynay - 28/09/2011 06:47

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 036

You deserved it 3 301

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 509

You deserved it 181

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 574

You deserved it 2 947

Overdoing it

By Anonymous - 30/10/2021 23:00

Today, my mother is such a helicopter parent, she wouldn’t let me go to my first appointment with my new gynaecologist without being in the room, to “keep an eye on him”. When I told her to stay out, she started screaming in the waiting room that I was going to be raped without her there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 321

You deserved it 102

By wildthing - 01/07/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 612

You deserved it 7 233

Nightmare mother

By scared shirtless - 18/03/2021 20:01

Today, for the fifth time in a row, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. My mother burst into my room, leaned in real close and said, "So help me God, if you do not stop fucking screaming, I will rip your arms off and beat you with them." I’m never sleeping again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 226

What did you do?

By Wtmcisdis - 10/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Douglasville

Today, my mom had me arrested in the most humiliating way ever, in my nightgown, with no bra. She pushed me out her vagina, and now her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 400

By -_- - 05/07/2013 21:59 - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 583

You deserved it 5 226

By anonymous - 01/06/2009 07:05 - Korea Republic of

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 219

You deserved it 5 299

By MATTY2512 - 13/07/2016 18:13 - Canada - Marshall

Today, I went into the house, only to hear my mother shouting "DON'T PINCH MY NIPPLE" at the top of her lungs in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 814

You deserved it 2 477

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 06:24 - United States - Tucson

Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 057

You deserved it 1 927

Nudi_fml 13

Wednesday 28 September 2011 16:36

Sounds reasonable

mnblkjpoi 0

Wednesday 28 September 2011 16:38

That seems legit.

Comments

AksentNetharia 12

Sunday 14 September 2014 11:27

My face while reading this FML: ._. -> ._. -> o_0

Nimor 25

Tuesday 10 March 2015 0:21

What the ****?!

fantasyworld 37

Monday 31 August 2015 23:55

She kind of has a point.

stfuwtf 21

Thursday 7 April 2016 23:15

Yeah, if your parents are divorced you might want to think about living with your dad instead.

Keywords

Thanksgiving Politics Holidays Miscellaneous Family Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Cars Contraception Love Cheating Suspicious Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 2 452

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did I remembered there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper; he never did, and came out without socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 524

You deserved it 5 800

The Top

Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 243

You deserved it 2 311

Today, I was Whatsapping my boyfriend, as I am away for work. Before talking to him, I texted my work group I wasn’t feeling well after they invited me out. As I was chatting with what I thought was my boyfriend, I said, “I want your penis inside me.” And then realized I'd texted my work group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 3 748

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 487

You deserved it 3 816

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 888

You deserved it 3 569

Today, in this horrible job market, I finally got an interview with a dream company. But like the dumbass I am, I mentioned my baby in the interview and got the "look" from the interviewer. Bye bye yet another job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 1 094

Today, my boyfriend's parents decided that I was untrustworthy and that if they ever saw him with me he'd be heavily punished. They're travelling hundreds of miles just to make sure he stays in the house and doesn't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 768

You deserved it 1 558