Miscellaneous: Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine"... - FML

By Username - 06/07/2011 02:54 - United States

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 396

You deserved it 4 101

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Same thing different taste

By cazorp - 05/01/2012 11:43 - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 419

You deserved it 2 464

Boozehound

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 877

You deserved it 2 999

By karmaquestionmark - 20/11/2012 02:04 - United States - Silverton

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 128

You deserved it 36 909

Delusional

By Anonymous - 26/07/2020 02:01

Today, my mom is 100% positive that she saw me meeting up with a stranger and buying some kind of drug from "him." I didn't even pass by anyone on my walk. I went to get dollar store pizza, because I can't afford to buy any decent food this week, let alone drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 119

By anti-drugs - 21/03/2011 10:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 276

You deserved it 4 269

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 263

You deserved it 1 726

By a critically injured shitehawk - 25/04/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 205

You deserved it 3 021

By Anonymous - 25/07/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 790

You deserved it 2 734

By ugh - 01/12/2015 03:52 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 657

You deserved it 1 584

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 18:33 - Sweden

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 494

You deserved it 2 715

Next

Top comments

ilovecookies83 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:42

Get her help :|

Doortje 29

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:43

Sounds like a great deal.

Comments

SandraGee 7

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:45

FYL :(

Dr_Jalepenos 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 14:26

What a deal!!! dont let this offer go to waste.

punjabi44 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:45

that's a great mother.

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:45

She's been smoking that rice.

CherryBomb511 3

Wednesday 6 July 2011 15:17

13, I love your picture; I used to watch all those shows back in the day.

OWNZ 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:49

Rice is like crack on steroids! :D

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 6 July 2011 20:50

rofl timmy on the bong with smoldering spongebob

sarahwaugh 4

Sunday 22 April 2012 10:18

God damn rice I'm so stoned of this riceeeee

skyttlz 32

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:47

WTF?..

Rawr100 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 15:04

awesome profile picture

heartless_fml 6

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:47

....wait, what?

chelseaaababyyy 17

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:47

uhm.. what ? thats really strange..

ogthug24 4

Wednesday 6 July 2011 11:20

just so you know I think yu look fine in ur pic

lyndz_20 8

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:48

Lmfao!!! I've got one word for you: NUTTY Lmfao!!! I've got one word for you: NUTTY

iAmScrubs 19

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:56

That was the most bizarre comment that I have ever laid eyes on. Are you supposed to be Jacob Two-Two or something? I also fail to understand how "nutty" is relevant to this FML.

FFML_314 11

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:19

I have one word for you: ******.

TheBitchOfChuckN 7

Wednesday 6 July 2011 10:33

I have one word for YOU: Ejaculation

Rape_Laser 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 11:22

why not Asian?

green_eggs_and_h 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:48

That's your mom's way of saying you need to move out now.

PeteyPablo12308 20

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:49

What? I'm confused.. :-(

ThisRandomChild 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:13

You were born confused

CookieCrazy 8

Wednesday 6 July 2011 17:54

Weren't we all?

WolfKing501 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:51

was she on something?

thewife5 19

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:19

yeah.. cocaine.. I'm guessing

tashaburr 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 9:43

she was on rice fool!

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The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 127

You deserved it 3 083

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 783

You deserved it 27 696

Today, as an amateur magician, I tried a new trick at my nephew’s birthday party. The trick involved pulling a fake rabbit out of a hat. I didn't realize my nephew had put his real pet rabbit in the hat as a prank. The poor rabbit jumped out, scaring the kids, and causing chaos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 123

Today, my wife brought home a kitten, telling me it had been abandoned. She must think I’m dumb, since our credit card statement shows that all last week she bought it from a breeder, then got it vaccinated and chipped at the vet's, and only now brought it home to feed me this pack of lies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 215

Today, my seven-year-old niece gave me a birthday card. Only she'd spelled my name as ‘Jenny.’ When I told her it was spelled with an i instead of a y, she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 1 119

Today, I got fired from my job. When I asked why, all that was said to me was, "We don't have to disclose that information, but you did nothing wrong. It's just not working out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 052

You deserved it 1 469

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 551

You deserved it 6 202