Health: Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house...

By partypooper - 18/01/2012 15:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house to myself. Wild parties? Hot girls? Loads of beer? No. Flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 948

You deserved it 6 703

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Same thing different taste

Caught in 4K

By its_all_legit - 19/03/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 464

You deserved it 127 827

By Anonymous - 16/06/2010 23:16 - United States

Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 944

You deserved it 2 747

Freedom

By notsoaloneanymore - 17/06/2016 04:32 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they "thought I would be lonely." I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 078

You deserved it 3 183

By Lichelle - 10/03/2009 21:30 - United States

Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 108

You deserved it 72 722

By blah - 10/04/2009 10:17 - United States

Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 547

You deserved it 80 674

Soooooooo late 2020

By Anonymous - 17/05/2024 00:00 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, I might have Covid and this weekend is my birthday weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 120

By whosurdaddy - 06/01/2017 06:44

Today, I'm attending a party where drunken women just can't seem to keep their clothes on. Those drunken women are my daughters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 087

You deserved it 1 444

By Anonymous - 26/11/2013 16:43 - United States - Erie

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 072

You deserved it 3 570

By Jaclk - 24/04/2012 21:28 - United States - Needham

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 889

You deserved it 19 805

Pushover

By Anonymous - 04/09/2020 14:05

Today, my in-laws invited themselves to stay at my house for a few days. They live out of state and have been self-quarantining for months. The reason for visiting? So they can throw a party for extended family at our house. Guess who'll end up doing all the work and clean up? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 226

123josie123 11

Wednesday 18 January 2012 18:59

Aww get well soon! *cyberhugs*

TheMaster15 10

Wednesday 18 January 2012 19:00

Eat some chicken noodle soup and party anyways :D

Comments

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 18 January 2012 21:12

Boo.

delormanator 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 21:12

Ur sick already might as well throw a ******* hous party bruh

ClaremoreZebra 8

Wednesday 18 January 2012 21:15

Bro I've partied with the Flu before! Just take a shit ton of medicine!

Beachboy96 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 21:16

Must be a sign,eat soup and party away

Altie 13

Wednesday 18 January 2012 21:18

Doctor? Yesss!!

bluechevy101 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 21:38

Alcohol and ass cures everything

wironandine 8

Wednesday 18 January 2012 21:40

Owned. Underage drinking isn't cool.

MexicanObama 15

Thursday 19 January 2012 0:35

These days everbody drinks underage... 13 is the new 18... or 21 if you live in America.

BeccaHugs 17

Wednesday 18 January 2012 21:44

That would have been a sick party! Pun intended ;)

AbbeyW 4

Wednesday 18 January 2012 21:46

Hah.. i mean.. unlucky!

JordenAsplund 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 22:05

That's sucks! Sorry man

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The Top

Today, I have to use toilet paper as a substitute for Kleenex, because I have a nasty cold and ran out. We're also snowed in where I live, so I currently can't go to the store to get some more. I think I now understand why people were hoarding this stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 146

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 113

The Top

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 279

You deserved it 48 325

Today, I learned to keep your posts private on social media. Your boss might find your Facebook status updates saying, “I hate this shitty 9-5, I want to be on a beach with a margarita.” I got a call from him saying, “You’re terminated from the shitty 9-5, so you don’t have to anymore. Enjoy the beach!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 2 720

Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 383

You deserved it 3 109

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 394

You deserved it 3 653

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 969

You deserved it 4 303

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 566

You deserved it 29 192