Intimacy: Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma... - FML

By Susan - 18/03/2013 08:59 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 690

You deserved it 16 033

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Same thing different taste

Wanker horn

By gran ruined masturbation - 01/06/2023 12:00

Spicy

Today, if I'm out of breath, sweaty, or in a room with the door closed, my grandmother will loudly yell, "YOU HAVE BEEN MASTURBATING!" as soon as she sees me. It's been going on for three years. My parents think it's hilarious. I want to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 176

By Nails - 22/02/2009 03:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 125

You deserved it 7 242

Oh no…

By Oh... - 26/07/2019 16:00 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 971

You deserved it 261

Great story, tell it again!

By BrianTheLion89 - 06/06/2012 21:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 630

You deserved it 3 753

By RatCityChick - 27/06/2012 17:18 - United States - Bellevue

Spicy

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 464

You deserved it 4 892

Caught red-handed

By caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 336

You deserved it 36 291

As you were

By ryan and Zack - 25/02/2010 22:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year-old boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 300

You deserved it 7 972

By Anonymous - 17/03/2013 19:09 - France - Minzier

Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 360

You deserved it 4 304

My ears!

By epistaxis - 02/02/2009 00:43 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 418

You deserved it 2 688

By welptimetoburntheplacedown - 11/08/2014 15:02 - United States - Louisville

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 307

You deserved it 3 702

Next

Top comments

perdix 29

Monday 18 March 2013 16:31

Did Grandma say this while banging a guy she picked up at the gym?

obviousboy 8

Monday 18 March 2013 16:49

Grandmas: calling it like it is since they stopped giving a ****.

Comments

gracehi 31

Monday 18 March 2013 18:22

*who

Matt_greener 8

Monday 18 March 2013 18:31

Five seconds*

noelasis94 18

Monday 18 March 2013 18:44

Grandma burning down the house with that hateful mouth. Kelso always said it best when he said buuuurrrnnn.

MaydayParadexx 18

Monday 18 March 2013 19:11

I don't understand how she deserved this?

rabidpeach 5

Monday 18 March 2013 21:17

granma calls it like it is, prob a lil porker

TechFire 25

Monday 18 March 2013 23:31

Because anything that even remotely implies that someone is fat makes FML see that person as a terrible human being who deserves any bad thing that happens to them.

emeraldisle 30

Monday 18 March 2013 19:39

Troll grandma strikes again.

AlphaPrice 7

Monday 18 March 2013 21:43

This is the rarely seen phenomenon known as the grandma BURN

imvee5599 7

Monday 18 March 2013 22:39

Best FML I've seen in a while! This one actually made my day :)

Stefanie88 24

Monday 18 March 2013 23:01

Your grandma is hilarious

FMLJFL 5

Monday 18 March 2013 23:42

Not even an FML really, ydi. Take care of your body, you only get one chance.

heyijustmetu 7

Monday 18 March 2013 23:43

Grandmas are too funny

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Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 315

You deserved it 2 040

Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 97

The Top

Today, it’s been nearly six months since our state has been on lockdown. My boyfriend the introvert has never been happier. Meanwhile, I, the extrovert, have been bored to literal tears from the lack of human interactions and travel. There’s only so much Netflix and reading I can do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 478

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 694

You deserved it 71 092

Today, it was my big sister's birthday, and I was told the iPod I ordered her online was not coming due to a mix up. I drove to three different electronic stores before I found the one she wanted. After spending forever in traffic, I came home to find a package on my doorstep. It was her iPod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 343

You deserved it 4 035

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to this coworker I like and ask her out for a coffee next door. She was dismissive, cold and rude, and filed a complaint with HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 586

You deserved it 2 282

Today, while entering in my college building, I noticed that my right shoelace was untied and I tied it. I didn't realize that just in front of me was a metal beam until I hit my head hard on it and a loud, reverberating sound was produced. Many people saw what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 716

You deserved it 2 811

Today, my boyfriend and I were finishing in the bedroom; he pulled out and finished on my stomach. Then he figured that was the time to quote Shrek, saying, "Better out than in I always say." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 360