By Doritos - 17/06/2010 08:06 - United States

Spicy
Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML
I agree, your life sucks 567
You deserved it 37
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Top comments

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Get revenge. **** in his milk.

159 4
DarkHelmet 10

that deserves an ass whoopin!!

90 2

Comments

Salaminizer 0

Now you need to one-up him. Come out of the bathroom with his playboy and a 'used' bag of his doritos (or other food item of your choosing.) Then 'accidentally' light his playboy on fire. You win.

5 1
Salaminizer 0

Better yet, 'use' his playboy. Make an effort to see that all the pages get stuck together. Even more win for you.

1 0
akagron 0

Get stuck together with what, exactly...? Anyone, anyone?

0 0
Kristen_Nichole 0

****! Ahaha, sorry, I just had to...

0 1
Siva283 0

Wow your fat and nasty #176. I guess thats why your in the sex section of FML so much cause no one would touch you with someone elses dick. GO ON A DIET FATASS

0 0
Ericka5050 5

You are amazing! I need you to think up all my revenge schemes for me!

0 0
Ericka5050 5

If you don't know what they'd be stuck with you need to find a new, more age appropriate FML to read

0 0
scubadiver8888 0

yea I'd get new roommate I own my own house so I'd kick his ass to the curb and get few hot girl roommates

1 1
TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Ha! Just make sure you lock up your electric toothbrush.

0 0
tencentsakiss 19

hahahahaha wasn't there an fml where the op said that they heard their sister using a vibrator, then saw the sister leaving their room with the op's electric toothbrush?

0 0
TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Yup, that was the reference! I think there might've been another similar one too, with a roommate instead of a sister.

0 0
tfghost92 0

now IF he was masturbating, why would he use a condom? he afraid hes gonna get his hand pregant?FYL dude, seriously

6 0
tencentsakiss 19

Hey! HAND PREGNANCY IS A VERY SERIOUS MATTER hahaha

0 0
TaylorTotsYumm 10

No, his hand will impregnate him. It is actually quite common.

0 0
FooFighterXC 0

Dangg, next time hide all of his socks and condoms. It doesn't really sound like he needs the condoms anyway.

0 0
skyking_21 2

#2 your picture is lol. I hope that's not you. LOL

1 0
perdix 29

Doritos? Sour cream and testicles flavor, perhaps? Who masturbates to Playboy anymore? You have to be an idiot to spank the money by spending a fortune looking at a few boringly tasteful pics of air-brushed women when there's plenty of hardcore filth on the Internet for FREE!

4 0
Primus_fml 0

Maybe all the ads of "grow your penis" turn him off. Then again, mags are even worse for ads than the internet.

0 0
purplemnm 9

perdix, I do not find playboy photos to be tasteful at all, but they aren't as inappropriate as Internet ****.  and OP, you should be able to rest in peace knowing that your father doesn't jerk it to your Delias magazines!!!! 

0 2
DanielleTheOne 3

128, what do u mean 'not as inappropriate'?? its ****!!! since when does port have to be appropriate? and apropriate for what? for getting off? im sorry but i just found that to be a weird thing to say :S

3 0
nintendomagic1 0

#32's got a point. God i hope u didnt eat those doritos but if u did hell at least u got some dip, for free too

0 1
killerbee54 0

that's great XD well, yeah, your roomate doesn't seem to have the best of manners, but this is a good story to tell later on (in front of him). lol. word of advice, don't eat from that Doritoes bag. mark it, just so you know. lol

0 0