Kids: Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal... - FML

By SpiderFather - 02/07/2013 08:01 - France

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 46

Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

lhazz11 23

Tuesday 2 July 2013 18:56

At least he's creative

Nolimit2217 32

Tuesday 2 July 2013 18:56

I like his style.

Comments

Ambient25 24

Tuesday 2 July 2013 19:06

If I were OP, I'd have told my kid that it won't work anyway since there can only be one spiderman in the world, as I proceed to spray him with silly string hidden under my sleeve.

VfortheShadow 8

Wednesday 3 July 2013 0:41

#13- The joke would kind of lose it's punch when you paused to get silly string. Or are you the kind of person who keeps silly string up their sleeve at all times just in case something like this happens? And if so, will you marry me?

Axel5238 29

Tuesday 2 July 2013 19:07

This is really cute. Though better you found out before a spider did bite him and he thought he could swing from his "webs".

stormchaser24 24

Tuesday 2 July 2013 19:09

Seems like it would bite after he picked it up. Is you son ok?

MacMonster 10

Wednesday 3 July 2013 5:05

I'm pretty sure a spider would die after being microwaved, so its days of biting would be over.

Wakachulak 22

Tuesday 2 July 2013 19:10

Relax OP, 7 yo's are supposed to do dumb shit like that. 10 years from now, you'll wish he was still putting spiders in a microwave.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 2 July 2013 19:11

*looks for the "your son is awesome" button* Come on mods! We need that button!

KingCeltic77 18

Tuesday 2 July 2013 19:11

With great power comes great responsibility.

perdix 29

Tuesday 2 July 2013 19:12

You ought to send him to the Fortress of Solitude (aka, his room) for a long, long time so he can become Superman.

JasonUMN 15

Tuesday 2 July 2013 19:14

My spidy senses are tingling.

yankeesfancg 13

Tuesday 2 July 2013 19:15

Better call Uncle Ben

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:08

bad me for wondering why OP would want to get some rice, although it is microwavable.

Grayness_ 26

Tuesday 2 July 2013 19:21

Didn't the spider die ?

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 2 July 2013 21:02

It might not have. I had a friend who once microwaved a spider for 40 seconds and it didn't die.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Food Toxic Miscellaneous Family Gross Valentine's Day Love Health Home improvement Homeowners Awkward Drugs Kids Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Cats Animals Work Coworkers Airplanes Transportation Sleep Embarrassing Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, I drove two hours to secretly buy an antique book my wife has been looking for for 30 years since her childhood copy was lost in a house fire. There was one other guy there interested in buying it, we were both cash buyers but with one difference: I was the one who forgot his wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 345

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 464

You deserved it 4 174

The Top

Today, my boyfriend's brother and his fiancée decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine, if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 878

You deserved it 2 428

Today, I went to my local bank after getting an email from them concerning unknown purchases. Four hours later, I was still in police custody. Someone had been using my account to purchase guns and drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 139

You deserved it 153

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 770

You deserved it 6 727

Today, I got my hair dyed at a fancy salon. While the stylist was pulling out the foils in my hair I sat up and started screaming in pain because the hot foils were burning my scalp. All she said was "oh, you're fine". I went back home to find an oozing burn wound on my scalp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 029

You deserved it 4 326

Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 187

Today, if I had a dollar for every person who told me that I couldn't possibly have an eating disorder because I'm overweight, I would have enough to pay for therapy to deal with my very real eating disorder and insecurities about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 131