Kids: Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal... - FML

By SpiderFather - 02/07/2013 08:01 - France

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 46

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Top comments

lhazz11 23

Tuesday 2 July 2013 18:56

At least he's creative

Nolimit2217 32

Tuesday 2 July 2013 18:56

I like his style.

Comments

guci101 14

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:05

At least he knows how the microwave works... I sure didnt know that at 7 years old.

chuckcloninger 12

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:06

You got a great kid there! Be sure you appreciate them while he's young. Someday he's going to grow up to marry a woman you don't like and make your life miserable. :-)

clevercake 21

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:08

brb. off to find a spider.

ViviMage 38

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:11

Don't quit your day job yet, Peter Parker!

Bobby_Shane 11

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:12

Worth a try

Jemm_fml 29

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:19

...brb

pnutbutternjelly 15

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:19

That does suck, but I love how your kid thinks :)

tashbee 6

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:33

That's awesome!

Megan98 18

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:34

That's a pretty good plan!

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:38

Hope he doesn't try to revive it afterwords.,,

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 491

You deserved it 15 056

Today, it was dad’s funeral and I intended to speak but I was crying so much I couldn’t finish and mom had to help me back to my seat. Unfortunately, most of our family are arseholes and I could hear someone saying, “Disgraceful, shaming his dad like that.” It was the worst day of my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, I learned how to use a fire extinguisher. Too bad it was on my brand new oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 056

You deserved it 4 376

Today, my son got back from his solo holiday in Hawaii. I asked him what he did. Apparently, he sat in his suite for 2 weeks, watching shit on his laptop. He spent thousands of pounds, flew thousands of miles to one of the nicest islands in the world, all to stay in his room. He could have done that here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 184

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that I wanted to get married eventually, and there's no way to talk me out of it. He broke up with me immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 544

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 224

Today, the district manager visited. Also today, I got called into the office to talk about "personal hygiene". The assistant store manager asked me if I had some kind of medical problem and advised me to shower regularly because my co-workers have been making comments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 230

You deserved it 4 287

Today, after much debate, I let my mom wax my eyebrows. Now I get to look super surprised until they grow back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 474

You deserved it 9 980