Intimacy: Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From...

By lababy - 15/11/2011 17:20 - United States

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 783

You deserved it 21 154

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By njh - 27/03/2015 13:29 - Ireland

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 341

You deserved it 3 612

By poormom - 27/06/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 110

You deserved it 28 918

By CiaoBella - 20/06/2016 03:16

Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 520

You deserved it 2 764

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 537

You deserved it 15 220

By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 14:34 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 681

You deserved it 7 565

By epistaxis - 29/01/2009 02:31 - Australia

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 730

You deserved it 3 958

Inappropriate but funny

By um... maybe - 12/03/2013 22:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 004

You deserved it 5 036

True

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 16:09

Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 044

You deserved it 246

By Ben - 21/08/2009 21:28 - United States

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 307

You deserved it 4 727

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:41 - United Kingdom - Oundle

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 382

You deserved it 3 651

jjames7543 13

Tuesday 15 November 2011 22:07

At least Dad was being honest

Savra_fml 17

Tuesday 15 November 2011 22:10

OPs Kid: "So, where do you come from Raul?" Raul: "From Madrid in Spain. How about you?" OPs Kid: "From my daddys penis"

Comments

EmreArslan 11

Tuesday 15 November 2011 22:23

I think ur child just double checked, thats what i used to do. Like ask my mun for something and id she says no go to dad and if he says yes... Just '*******' do it! :p

SrakaSrakasta 20

Tuesday 15 November 2011 22:29

What the hell is your problem people? Thumbs down for a completly honest and true comment? Religious nuts

wegetrz 14

Tuesday 15 November 2011 22:55

The problem is that the dad could have easily said from your mom's ****** and it wouldn't have been inappropriate seeing as preschools tell kids what their privates are actually called now.

gatorman562 2

Tuesday 15 November 2011 22:24

That is what's wrong with kids parents lying to them god don't give u kids u make them but keep lying to your kids

raney150 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 23:21

Why is this thumbed down?

HatefulPilot 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 23:49

Why not?

PElexander 5

Tuesday 15 November 2011 23:53

Gator I made sure to thumb up this shit. Completely agree.

Skater5679 4

Tuesday 15 November 2011 22:25

Honest dad is honest.

rattusrattus 18

Tuesday 15 November 2011 23:31

Probably could have put it in a more genteel fashion. Depending on the age of the son, intercourse or physical intimacy would have done the trick.

drawmesunshine 17

Wednesday 16 November 2011 1:38

I can't speak for other kids, but "intercourse" or "physical intimacy" wouldn't have fit the bill for me. "Daddy, where do babiea come from?" "Well, sweetie, they are a byprouduct of a consensual act of physical intimacy between a man and a woman, though only with a specific organ through a specific orifice." "Ok, Daddy." Nah, the conversatiom wouldn't have ended there.