Miscellaneous: Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss... - FML

By Anonymous - 05/07/2012 19:10 - United States - Findlay

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a Diet Coke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 786

You deserved it 10 009

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Same thing different taste

By J - 11/02/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 186

You deserved it 8 854

By goldendarkness - 09/07/2016 01:34

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to stop by a drive-thru on the way to his place. I asked him to order a Coke for me, at which point he asked if I wanted to make it a Diet Coke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 768

You deserved it 2 967

By hadrienne's pall - 13/05/2016 19:25 - Canada - Markham

Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 977

You deserved it 4 283

By Hungryman - 15/01/2010 21:30 - France

Today, I ordered a Diet Coke with my meal from a fast food restaurant. Turns out, they didn't give me diet. My blood sugar spiked and I was sick for hours later. I'm a diabetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 404

You deserved it 8 253

Thanks Karen

By Anonymous - 26/08/2014 15:30 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 684

You deserved it 4 366

By first time at McDonald's in months... - 27/03/2013 05:04 - United States

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 234

You deserved it 19 347

First impressions

By Anonymous - 03/03/2021 23:01

Today, while on a date, I accidentally ordered "diet water" instead of saying "diet coke". FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 298

Typecast

By nerd - 16/10/2009 15:08 - Singapore

Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 422

You deserved it 5 757

By fatty - 29/04/2015 01:36 - United States - West Chester

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 322

You deserved it 5 248

By sportskidguru - 01/02/2009 14:41 - United States

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 580

You deserved it 3 717

Next

Top comments

plasticsmile42 2

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:04

Wow, what an ass. dont let him/her get to you op!

MainPrism 16

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:05

I really hope you obeyed the cardinal rule of the food industry & waited til after you got your food before telling the waiter what you thought of them... If not, you ate something extra with your food... Pretty much gauranteed...

Comments

CharliesCool2084 8

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:15

Report him!

itsame0987 18

Friday 6 July 2012 0:59

In a strange way your facial expression fits perfectly with the fml.

LLZNH 1

Friday 6 July 2012 2:17

Listen to Jenna Marbles! She knows all

kroekdog 7

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:17

Big, fat, healthy, fluffy, DAMN.

Cyanhell 7

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:34

Finally someone recognizes that as a Gabriel Iglesias line. I'd assume she was wearing a fluffy guy article of clothing, and the waiter picked up on it and told the joke from his act.

HiddenMonkey 8

Friday 6 July 2012 1:51

I was wondering the same thing. If some actually knew where that came from. Bravo both of you ^_^

slappygecko 21

Friday 6 July 2012 2:40

Agreed. About time :p

lunastar 0

Friday 6 July 2012 5:06

You forgot husky...

millionsmax 1

Friday 6 July 2012 17:53

Big, healthy, husky, fluffy, DAMN! And OH HELL NAH

yackieegx 18

Thursday 30 April 2015 4:14

YAS! Gabriel Iglesias was the first thing that popped into my head, if they had a fluffy shirt on then Op should've realized the joke, if not then the waiter was being an asshole.

LYS92 6

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:17

I hope you didn't leave a tip

hurrican_fml 0

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:17

So rude! No tip for him!

iwadasn 32

Sunday 8 July 2012 6:09

I read your comment in the Soup Nazi's voice.

kellz9395 1

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:18

this sounds like you were at Dick's Last Resort to me.

Rowdey 10

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:20

That would be the best job ever.

hotshotsmith1 1

Friday 6 July 2012 3:17

Sadly not many people know about the awesomeness of dick's last resort...this fat ass prolly sat down thinking it was some random resturant!

kellz9395 1

Friday 6 July 2012 7:43

I would LOVE to work there!

DizzyDancer 3

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:19

I would have asked "let me guess, Mr. I'm not a judgemental prick-I just hate my own life wants to stand in the unemployment line?" then talked to the manager.

904mike 1

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:25

went to dicks bar and grill huh?

jaredofmo 22

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:26

So more like NO TIP FOR YOU!

brohamas16 7

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:27

Haha at least he's creative

Bebbo_fml 21

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:27

I like 7's suggestion.

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Keywords

TV shows Miscellaneous Work Awkward Coworkers Politics Transportation Ironic Embarrassing Relatable Social Media Instagram Parenting Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Dogs Friends Housework Cars Porn Technology Sports Health Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, thanks to that stupid ass blue dog, our kids haven’t stopped hounding me about when their dad and I are getting married. They’re too young to understand, so I try to gently change the subject. That worked for about 5 minutes before they were right back to asking. Holy uncomfortable subject Batman! FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 726

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week, they fired me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door, with a note that said "If not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60, and my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 550

You deserved it 2 738

The Top

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 281

You deserved it 3 679

Today, I received a letter from an eBay seller for whom I recently left an honest, negative review. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't ready for what spilled out coating my jeans, shoes, and brand new carpet: Glitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 603

You deserved it 3 180

Today, I clicked on a shortcut that I'd made years ago, not remembering what it was. It sent a message to my ex, who I’m in no contact with, which said, “I love you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 528

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 901

You deserved it 10 904

Today, after 4 years of nicely asking, I wrote an official memo to our logistics department, asking for new chairs for my subordinates. The logistics people came and concluded that there are more broken chairs than good ones, but suggested that perhaps we should all go on a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 987

You deserved it 3 053

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 564

You deserved it 17 833