Kids: Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came...

By anonymous - 09/10/2012 05:53 - United States

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 208

You deserved it 4 072

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Same thing different taste

By fmal - 07/05/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the second grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 286

You deserved it 8 883

Unhygienic or he's a natural hunter-gatherer

By Anonymous - 03/04/2020 05:00

Today, I found my missing wedding band inside my 2-year old's pull up. It was accompanied by two coins, a Hot Wheels car, a pebble, and a dead bug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 320

By joy - 07/02/2012 17:49 - United States

Today, while I was going to the bathroom, my engagement ring fell off into the toilet, which then automatically flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 444

You deserved it 5 031

Nervous

By Mike-al - 05/11/2023 09:00 - Germany

Today, I was the ring bearer at a wedding, something I'd been nervous about being ever since the groom asked me. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped over nothing and the ring flew from the little silk pillow and rolled into a nearby pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 183

By pop - 29/12/2008 01:41 - France

Today, my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. When I went to the toilet, I found my wife's wedding ring in a cup, which she'd lost a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 990

You deserved it 2 016

By Anonymous - 10/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my wedding ring came off in a Walmart bathroom and fell into the toilet. It was an automatic toilet. It flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 854

You deserved it 845

By LizGo - 17/11/2013 06:00 - United States - Greenville

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 434

You deserved it 14 698

By lisa - 22/12/2010 18:03 - United States

Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 455

You deserved it 51 767

By meganridner - 04/08/2011 16:05 - United States

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 547

You deserved it 53 245

Not now, Sweetie

By Redbeard - 24/01/2020 05:00

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 367

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 9 October 2012 12:11

**** rings - the toddler edition.

person961 9

Tuesday 9 October 2012 12:11

That really must have pissed you off. Hope you got the ring off at least.

Comments

Chris93Jones 20

Friday 4 October 2013 6:16

at least you got it back?

6demon6spawn6 12

Wednesday 4 June 2014 19:46

you took your WEDDING RING off for what reason exactly?

nyagemini23 22

Sunday 8 March 2015 23:17

Lol the things little boys do. it'll be the same even as they get older. be prepared

fantasyworld 37

Monday 16 March 2015 21:14

At least he didn't swallow it.

ByeTech 10

Friday 20 March 2015 10:28

But how...?

ericzaga 4

Friday 26 June 2015 23:01

Either that's a really skinny finger or that baby had a fat dick

00749200 14

Thursday 27 August 2015 2:11

Must have really small fingers

Keywords

Miscellaneous TV shows Coworkers Work Awkward Politics Ironic Embarrassing Relatable Transportation Social Media Instagram Shopping Parenting Jealousy Love AITA Am I overreacting? Kids Friends Dogs Pranks Housework Cars Technology Porn Health Sports Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 2 519

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 622

You deserved it 42 679

The Top

Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 569

You deserved it 66 779

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 559

You deserved it 39 168

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 917

You deserved it 21 092

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 339

You deserved it 4 026

Today, I bought my third replacement cable for my new laptop after the last two didn't fit. I was about to go and buy another one when I realized that the charging port was actually on the other side and the hole I had been trying to fit the cable in was the headphone port. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 946

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 542

You deserved it 19 407

Same thing different taste

Unhygienic or he's a natural hunter-gatherer

Nervous

Not now, Sweetie

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