Intimacy: Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't...

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 23:35 - Canada

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 801

You deserved it 12 450

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Same thing different taste

By Andrew - 20/04/2011 16:31 - United States

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 393

You deserved it 11 737

Just can't get enough

By Anonymous - 13/02/2023 06:00

Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 224

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 679

You deserved it 7 573

By doomed - 22/08/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 433

You deserved it 6 700

By Bouh - 27/12/2012 04:04 - France - Paris

Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 270

You deserved it 9 313

By rj - 12/05/2012 14:42 - United States - Goddard

Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 566

You deserved it 5 829

By loving wife - 21/04/2013 10:20 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 346

You deserved it 7 627

By bablessinbedsty - 05/05/2017 14:45

Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 442

You deserved it 634

By Marcella - 24/10/2009 04:49 - United States

Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 580

You deserved it 4 462

Her body, her choice

By Anonymous - 08/01/2022 08:01

Today, my wife decided she wants to disregard our five-year plan to have kids, and is experimenting with the idea of having her tubes tied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 298

Thabb 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 5:14

Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.

ADayToPierceTheV 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 5:11

sounds reasonable

Comments

Taq_fml 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 15:11

Well, you sound like an asshole, so I don't blame her...

lizzie1441 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 15:34

it's safe 2 have sex when ur preg. u just have 2 b careful after a certain point. when the baby hasn't even developed anything. there isn't much harm a dick could do

milly_11 4

Saturday 9 July 2011 20:36

If its still early in the pregnancy it can happen. But it had to ve within days length. After a couple of weeks ure in the safe zone, but maybe she just doesnt want to sleep with u.

fknrad 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 21:33

your wife has balls?

Cynical_in_SK 6

Saturday 9 July 2011 23:39

Can we say threesome? In order for that to happen she would have had to bang two different guys within 24 hours.

Cynical_in_SK 6

Saturday 9 July 2011 23:41

Oops...that was meant to be a comment on another comment.

Cynical_in_SK 6

Saturday 9 July 2011 23:44

Why don't you just tell her that you want twins? Even if it is possible it's like a one in a million chance. The scary thing is that someone that clueless is actually procreating.

jokozo_fml 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 1:53

dump the dumb bitch, the baby's probably a retard

incrapper 7

Sunday 10 July 2011 2:06

be happy at least you got to post your comment on FML I've tried 5 times, and all my stories are true. I don't go out on the weekends or anything waiting for them to confirm it!. so f*** it I'm posting my FML on this!!

ijustlaugh 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 4:55

this fml makes me lose all hope of a single decent male

Flounder 2

Sunday 10 July 2011 5:05

Your terminology ("had the balls") indicates either an imprecise command of the English language or latent misogyny, if your response is indignation about the fact that she would dare deny you sex rather than her ignorance of biology.