Intimacy and Sex: Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time...

By footscratching - 28/01/2012 06:27 - United States

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 575

You deserved it 4 491

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Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Cannonball" by The Breeders

By Anonymous - 18/05/2020 17:00

Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 605

You deserved it 310

By Darin Greenwood - 22/07/2019 14:00

Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 2 477

By stanDman - 19/01/2009 18:05 - Canada

Today, I was jerking off when my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes… that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 444

You deserved it 10 471

Not now

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 23:00

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 267

Being a parent 101

By Shavaughn Riley - 31/10/2020 23:03 - New Zealand - Kawerau

Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 291

By Mia - 20/08/2014 06:07 - United States - Astoria

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 324

You deserved it 7 252

Not now!

By Ineedit - 26/02/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 116

You deserved it 2 576

By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 02:14 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 514

You deserved it 4 197

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 395

You deserved it 11 794

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 1 814

bettyc4 26

Saturday 28 January 2012 11:34

Cockblocked!

aeshleyrose 6

Saturday 28 January 2012 11:52

You raised him, bud.

Comments

XeroGravity 3

Saturday 28 January 2012 22:53

Okay, first off. Your son could have scratched his foot with the other. Teach him to stop being a lazy shit. Second. Several months? The hell? You two need to communicate more often. And third. This is to the people saying "You're gross". Are you ******* 7? The kid should know that his parents make love. Hell, that's how he was made. Stop hiding nature.

luckygohappy 9

Sunday 29 January 2012 2:04

It depends on how old the kid is. He may be only 3 or 4 years old, in which case, I'd hope he doesn't know what his parents do behind closed doors. And maybe the reason his parents haven't had sex in months is that said kid has a new brother or sister.

choff47436 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 23:00

Sounds like you son gets more pussy than you do

BayleeTheLlama 3

Saturday 28 January 2012 23:03

Boner kill.

Naitras 15

Saturday 28 January 2012 23:43

Did anyone else notice it says "the first in in several"

tappm98 22

Saturday 28 January 2012 23:46

why would you be getting intimate with your kid in the next room....

cuddlebunny3548 11

Saturday 28 January 2012 23:52

It's your fault op for having your son in the house while getting intimate.

StreetReaper 9

Sunday 29 January 2012 1:31

Ok this is a news flash for all of the teens and Tweens on this site who think it's either gross or inappropriate for their parents to have sex. YOUR PARENTS STILL HAVE AND ENJOY SEX. It's how you got here. Just because they are older and don't party like a rockstar because of obligations like jobs and taking care of your lazy whiny asses, doesn't mean their libido disappeared. Sex is natural and a normal way for your parents, as adults to express their love to each other. Turn up the stereo, iPod, tv or Xbox and get over yourselves. You consume and demand too much of their time as it is. Let mom and dad have time for themselves.