Intimacy: Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've...

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By Cheated - 03/08/2010 04:07 - Canada

Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 423

You deserved it 4 582

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Same thing different taste

Hopeless

By Anonymous - 18/11/2019 20:00

Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, then, my wife told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 286

You deserved it 351

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 422

You deserved it 4 407

By Crash44 - 08/07/2019 02:03

Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 260

Charming dude

By unzucht - 30/05/2012 16:45 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 750

You deserved it 2 500

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 768

You deserved it 3 664

By doomed - 22/08/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 487

You deserved it 6 707

By Broken - 03/08/2010 12:11 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 227

You deserved it 4 738

By wow - 15/04/2013 18:36 - Russian Federation - Saint Petersburg

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 986

You deserved it 6 740

Three is a magic number

By Jenny - 05/04/2020 23:00

Today, my 15-year-old daughter told me that she's pregnant. To make matters worse, she doesn't know who the father is. She told me not to worry though, because she has it narrowed down to "like, only 3 guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 326

You deserved it 505

By TKPhai - 05/04/2015 03:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 205

You deserved it 16 478

SparkleMotion44 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 12:26

divorce that ***** brah

Jessi_the_sexii 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 12:44

answer: I want a divorce for dinner

Comments

corticalchaos 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 22:31

YDI for getting married

redfinton22 9

Wednesday 25 August 2010 16:29

'for dinner? I'm feelin' a divorce would hit the spot tonight, sweetie..'

oh_lol_ownage 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 19:57

DIVORCE THE BITCH

electrigal 0

Monday 6 September 2010 3:23

I've heard this one before you liar.

Monarch125 0

Saturday 25 September 2010 12:20

sucks man. totally sucks

JoSchmo 0

Tuesday 28 September 2010 5:16

This is your cue to kick the bitch in the stomach. XD Just jokin' with ya bro, but seriously, it's called DNA testing, try it, it's a ******* life saver.

Fratkidz 0

Sunday 10 October 2010 0:31

I gotta call BS on this one. Most FML's sound like they are but they are at least funny. This was just stupid.

brixcheese 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 16:57

does anyone else realize she would've had to have sex with those other five guys within a span of three days? so gross I hope she was joking... and I hope this guy just put this on here for a reaction. because that is so sad