And im number 69 haha #LoveIt

#76 totally has a point!!!

Dude is a pansy. If he can use his 'fingers' to type a FML, he can use those SAME fingers to please his wife. Don't expect everyone to share your moral compass. Just because your SO is supportive when you are sick doesn't mean everyone will be (or should be). The wife is a saint for nagging (not for the name-calling). The average dude would have drove himself to ER just to shut her up. If he had married someone like me, he would have only had one chance to say no. My next question would have been. ER or EX? I'm going to call one of them, choose. Some of us would not have even been THAT nice.

Yes, of course, because the most important thing about any romantic relationship is sex. It's not about trusting the other person, feeling safe with them, loving them no matter what, it's just all about the sex..... Be more realistic, hernias can become life threatening if left untreated and I'm sure there's some legitimate reason why he's waiting for the surgery, like the surgery couldn't be scheduled any earlier. OP said that he's in excruciating pain. Excruciating, not "it hurts a little when I move" pain, excruciating pain. She can wait until the surgery is over and his doctor says it's safe for him to become sexually active again. Until then, she can put her frustrations towards planning a nice romantic evening for after he's completely healed.

In your world, love conquers all. Unicorns and daisies are everywhere and all the people hold hands and sing Kumbaya. This is real life and for some, sex is as high as number 2 on the list. (right after physical attraction). If you assume it's minimal and that the spouse's needs can wait, then your judgement call can open a window for problems in your marriage. The OP should have never let this escalate and get so far out of hand. If the pain is excruciating, then he needs to be in the ER and not on FML whining. He's not fighting cancer. He's not recovering from a stroke, he didn't have a heart attack and he doesn't have ED. He has 2 hernias, a tongue and 10 fingers. If he cannot endure long enough to accommodate (as many others have done) and he won't go to the ER, then he should deal with the wife's rage until he decides to go get himself fixed.

@Yamster Again, you're saying "I wouldn't ask for.." "I wouldn't be selfish"... Stop expecting all people to be like YOU. Secondly, a dude with no pic shouldn't bash anyone on how they look. Besides, you're entitled to your opinion, they're like assholes anyway. All heart attacks are not caused by not taking care of yourself or from poor exercise habits. Perhaps you'll learn this in medical school. It's not OP's fault he has 2 hernias. It's OP's fault for letting this escalate to the point where the wife is raging. If he couldn't get surgery setup sooner, he should have gone to the ER. In the meantime, it seems that OP doesn't even care. He seems just like you.. "I'm in pain wait it out". I'm in pain good luck with your ****** honey. I would at the very LEAST, have given her oral, fingered her, or offered to work the vibrator for her. Too many people (men & women) have bitten the bullet during their ailments (hernias, hemorrhoids, cysts, pregnancies, back problems, fibroids) and took one for the team. I'd rather bite the bullet and have my spouse happy (and then tell her she has to wait until the surgery) than to have my spouse be unhappy.

@Yamster Let me also clarify a couple of statements. ER or EX means that I'm calling the ER to admit you now because I'm no longer waiting, or I'm calling my EX to replace you temporarily until your surgery which could be God knows when. Some women would have ALREADY went with the EX option without even giving the hubby an option. We won't even start with the MEN who have demanded sex and all the guys coming to their defense if they pick up a "club girl" for the evening. Secondly, if the wife is raging, obviously laying up is not solving the problem and is in fact letting it escalate. Since the wife is impatient, then he should be impatient and go to the ER.

Perhaps your pic isn't on here because you're not so hot yourself, babydoll. You don't know me or what I do in my spare time, but you've given me soooo much attention today. I think you love me!! Alright quote time! "I'm saying everyone should have at least some basic decency, morals, compassion and sympathy." Again this is you saying how everyone "should" be. I'm telling you, everyone is NOT this way. This should have been learned in the 3rd grade. Some of us have been through enough pain to learn this. Be thankful that in your world everything is perfect and everyone does what is right. "The reason you can't see yourself as wrong is because you think the whole world revolves around you and your sexual needs." I don't care about who's right and who's wrong. I don't care if everyone disagrees with me. Sex is not number 1 priority, but the ability to compromise/negotiate IS. The world does not stop turning because you are in pain. Pain or not, needs still need to be met. Or an alternative solution should be discussed. For this wife, laying up until surgery isn't acceptable. I would be frustrated too if my hubby refused ER or refused an alternative method on meeting my needs. Sure, you have a right to refuse. But be prepared to deal with the consequences whatever they might be.

I've already covered this but I'll cover it again. 2 problems. Hubby has hernia. Wife's not getting laid (some refuse to acknowledge this as a problem, it is a problem to OP's WIFE). Wife's trying to tell hubby "Even though you're in pain, there's a problem with me not getting laid" and you (perhaps OP as well) are trivializing the problem. She should just be frustrated and get over it. He should lie in pain for another week or 2 and get over it. No one's trying to fix the problem now. Instead, waiting until surgery should do. OP's wife no longer wants to wait. Why SHOULDN'T OP either try to please wife orally, or with some kind of stimulation.. or.. Go to the ER to fix the issue now instead of waiting for surgery? Why do BOTH parties have to continue suffering? Let me guess.. "Because he doesn't want to or shouldn't have to. No should be the end of it. She can WAIT". "Sex isn't a necessity. It is a luxury." To me, trivializing a SO's problem is just as bad as demanding sex while in pain or sick.

"The problem with you is that you're failing to see what the BIGGER problem is." Who ranks problems? A problem is a problem. ALL should be dealt with and fixed immediately. I said WHY should BOTH parties suffer when a trip to the ER would fix the root cause? I don't know where you live (I don't care either), but here in the States, people OFTEN go to the ER for things that are not a life/death situation and get treated immediately. If OP had ALREADY went to the ER and was denied, it would have been mentioned. I would cut the OP some slack because at least he TRIED to fix the root cause and was not successful. It's not about ME. It's about finding a speedy solution for the greater good(which is a harmonious marriage and a happy spouse). Not blowing the other off or ignoring someone when they tell you they have an issue. You seem callous, hard to get along with, and like a controlling dictator. If it's not important TO YOU then it's not important. Who's selfish now?

I am not talking about police investigations. I am talking about "relationship" problems. Stop taking everything I say out of context. Hypocrite? I have not been hypocritical. I'm bashing OP because of all the healthy people who have been bashed for refusing sex. BOTH have the right to refuse, so bashing should be done across the board. (or no bashing at all whether person is healthy or sick across the board) "The pain OP is in isn't important to her so it's not important." How do you know this? You don't. You're just assuming because she's nagging for sex, that she's overlooking his pain. OP is definitely on the internet posting FML's (that's a FACT). Is he on FB too? Twitter? Watching ESPN? Apparently the pain isn't THAT hindering. "The point is that you need to stop making calls that are meant for doctors to make." You're not a doctor either, boy. Definitely not a Psychologist or Therapist. So who are you to make a judgement call on the wife's mental state. ("The wife's problem is a psychological one.") Not qualified!! "That's like asking why a man who was stabbed in the stomach....." A man stabbed in the stomach should be in the ER and the LAST thing he should want is to be typing on FML. Just like the OP....

STOP putting words in my mouth. Nowhere did I EVER say ""OP is a jerk for refusing to have sex with his wife." My Exact words were "Dude is a bitch for not even considering alternatives to get her off. He's also a bitch for letting this get so far out of hand, the wife is in rage mode." I've also said that OP should be bashed for not putting out since so many healthy people get bashed for not putting out. Both have the right to refuse. Sure, everyone has the right to refuse sex (legally) and shouldn't be bashed for it. That doesn't mean I WON'T bash them for making that choice. Choices have consequences. Finally, that "mines is bigger" might work with men, but I'm a lady. I could care less about who your pops is, what your GPA is, or what you're studying. I could care less about how many surgeries you've had or how you think you're qualified. You will NEVER be a sexually frustrated woman, even though you sound like one. You'll never be qualified to rank what's important to a woman and what is not (unless you're a woman). I will leave you with this advice, if a woman respectfully brings a problem to you and you cannot resolve it immediately, then compromise is the next step. If you trivialize a woman's problem when she comes to you, or tell her to suck it up and deal with it, then prepare to endure the consequences of your decision. Goodnight!

The real double standard here is that a man nagging a woman for sex is a pig, and a woman nagging a man for sex is a victim in your mind. You seem to fail to recognise also, when someone is bed-ridden from pain it is not wise to engage in physical activity. This goes double for injuries that can be worsened from this activity. If you're up and walking around your situation isn't even in the same ballpark as his. So I think a firm "go **** yourself" is in order for both her and you.