Love: Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed....

By Mouhahaa - 09/05/2012 03:48 - France

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 379

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Top comments

monicadempsy 5

Wednesday 9 May 2012 8:41

Rule #331 Do not take food from a womans plate.

onlychildFTW 33

Wednesday 9 May 2012 8:42

Never take food from a woman's plate or anyone's plate without asking. Especially when she's armed!

Comments

midnight21 8

Thursday 10 May 2012 0:20

Hahahahahahahahahahaha YES!!

polkadot3155 6

Thursday 10 May 2012 0:25

Mental image *joey doesn't share food!*

misshighjinks 5

Thursday 10 May 2012 0:27

Never touch the food.

stepymac 15

Thursday 10 May 2012 0:43

Never take food from a woman's plate it turns into a trip to the nurses office

dharmaxxx 2

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:37

"you cross my chow zone again. you'll pull back a bloody stump."

Thuban 0

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:37

My wife would just shrug this off and jack my chocolate later. Stabbing your hand for anything, not what happens in a loving relationship.

Garytru 0

Thursday 10 May 2012 2:56

Your greedy.

jquiggy89 3

Thursday 10 May 2012 3:37

I've been slapped with a hot greasy spatula over some bacon at my house before.

shanhigh 2

Thursday 10 May 2012 4:00

omfg...what is wrong with your wife...she has SERIOUS problems!! you don't just stab someone with a fork....

dakotahgillmore 0

Thursday 10 May 2012 4:16

That's my girlfriend

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The Top

Today, I fulfilled my lifelong dream of going on a family trip to Disneyland. Less than two hours in the park, my kids have been scared shitless by every single character, they don’t want to ride any rides, my husband is drunk, and the mouse ears headband gave me a vomit-inducing migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 151

You deserved it 361

Today, I was working a concert ticket booth. A lady gave me her ticket, I punched it, and told her to enjoy the show. She asked for the “hotel.” Apparently, she thought that the concert ticket cost included a hotel stay, since she traveled from out of state. She cussed me out and had to be escorted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 516

You deserved it 3 876

Today, in ballet class, I was really focusing and actually trying to work hard. I was really getting into the choreography. I was travelling big and leaping long. While going across the floor, again I travelled and leaped… right into the ballet bars and fell over, in front of 35 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 089

You deserved it 6 124

Today, my friends and I were talking about our celebrity lookalikes. We decided that my friends all had attractive celebrity lookalikes, including Scarlett Johansson and Hayden Panettiere. When it was my turn, they decided that my "celebrity" lookalike is the Pillsbury Doughboy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 635

You deserved it 3 981

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 716

You deserved it 2 703

Today, I found out one of my exes is trans. I’m very happy for her, but I’m starting to think I have the wrong type, as I have had 3 ex-boyfriends come out as gay and 3 come out at trans right after breaking up. I really hope my current boyfriend doesn’t have a secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 185

Today, I wanted to give my car a quick wash, to get the salt and road grime off. My girlfriend lodged herself up my ass and decided that we should deep-clean all four of our cars, then screamed at me when I didn't show enough enthusiasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 457