Miscellaneous: Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's...

By Anonymous - 04/12/2014 19:33 - United States

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 614

You deserved it 3 311

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Same thing different taste

By madisonnkelly - 06/07/2015 03:18 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 546

You deserved it 3 107

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 056

You deserved it 16 176

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

Parenting is exhausting

By ThreeWeeksWithoutSex - 28/12/2015 05:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 363

You deserved it 2 906

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 1 814

Classy

By bkay26 - 29/08/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 808

You deserved it 7 657

By jared77 - 02/08/2011 16:26 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 760

You deserved it 2 875

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 953

You deserved it 4 797

By ooblie - 08/12/2010 08:22 - United States

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 957

You deserved it 4 013

By f*cks_sake - 13/05/2011 23:07 - United States

Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 408

You deserved it 11 095

EggsinaBasket 9

Friday 5 December 2014 0:15

Must have really blown to wake up to that.

GoldFishPony 21

Friday 5 December 2014 0:17

I hope your mom is willing to fund the therapy you'll need now

Comments

dmbfan31 7

Friday 5 December 2014 2:59

How does anyone deserve to see that?

captainsmegma 12

Friday 5 December 2014 3:26

Rock on mom, rock on!

patd77 12

Friday 5 December 2014 3:31

This has to be one of the best fml that I have read. That suxs man.

fmlcommenter1016 3

Friday 5 December 2014 3:53

would've stood up and yelled "does anybody have Clorox or anything that will make me not see"

vikky538 28

Friday 5 December 2014 4:04

you could have asked the flight attendant for some facial tissues...the whole family needs it... I would recommend bleach added ones for you...

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Friday 5 December 2014 4:13

You're gonna need some new eyes.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Friday 5 December 2014 4:15

I mean, you're gonna need new eyes OP.

WellHelloThere47 19

Friday 5 December 2014 4:52

how is that any different

inowhtthefoxsays 20

Friday 5 December 2014 4:22

Look on the bright side op. Could have been someone other than your dad!!!!

freehandjobs 6

Friday 5 December 2014 4:34

I woulda have totally embarrassed them lol

yungmumma88 10

Friday 5 December 2014 4:39

Look at it this way, if they're getting some they're not gonna be cranky XD

barnesburner 4

Friday 5 December 2014 4:57

Even a handy would have been too much.

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 652

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 9 781

The Top

Today, I witnessed a postal worker with an important parcel stopping before knocking on my door, shrugging, getting back in his van, and driving away. I couldn't get the door open quickly enough before he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 905

You deserved it 182

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation, to find my fiance had cleaned the house top to bottom, and finished three projects he was constantly putting off. I was over the moon, until he said, "Yeah, when you're not nagging me all day, I can actually get shit done. Crazy, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 767

Today, I had my first interview. Everything was going well until I made him repeat his name numerous times, as I couldn't understand what he was saying due to his thick accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 034

You deserved it 1 259

Today, I've got two family members over to stay. So far, I have found a dirty Q-Tip, a nasty toe nail and had to clean up period blood from toilets, bin, and the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 155

Today, I had the worst day of my life. I'd studied science for the whole damn night, only to realize the next morning that it's a math exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 174

You deserved it 3 063

Today, a real cowboy plumber somehow fucked up my piping so badly that if I turn the radiators on to get warm, none of my hot taps works, and vice versa, and I can’t shower at all because if water goes down my bathtub drain, it overflows the sink in my basement all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 112