Miscellaneous: Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the... - FML

By Jims - 29/04/2011 14:00 - Singapore

Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 461

You deserved it 5 764

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Drive on

By uncool - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the only person to wish me a "Happy birthday" was the cop who'd pulled me over, as he handed me my ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 042

You deserved it 5 137

By bdayloser - 07/11/2009 05:24 - Canada

Today, I celebrated my 18th birthday. Alone. My only birthday wish came from the police officer who gave me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 667

You deserved it 3 847

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 05:49 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 178

You deserved it 3 293

By birthdaygirl - 16/04/2014 17:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my birthday. The only people who wished me a happy birthday were the ones who saw the "birthday boy" poster my sister plastered around school, which included a photo of me as a kid dressed up as a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 027

You deserved it 4 209

By andi0804 - 05/08/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 880

You deserved it 3 588

Saturday night fever

By Anonymous - 14/06/2020 08:09

Today, I was arrested on my 25th birthday and thrown in jail overnight for impersonating myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 714

You deserved it 175

Brain fart

By Anonymous - 16/03/2013 14:58 - United States - Springfield

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 380

You deserved it 72 319

Birthday blues

By omaha24 - 29/04/2020 02:00

Today, my loneliness pushed me to buy a pack of cigarettes just so I had to show my ID to the clerk, hoping he would wish me a happy birthday. I don't even smoke and he didn't say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 562

By ididntevendrinkthatnight - 07/06/2013 05:14 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing, "Happy Birthday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 915

You deserved it 3 990

Being boring

By dicedicebaby - 23/03/2015 00:20 - United States - Columbus

Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 711

You deserved it 3 452

Next

Top comments

goldenone 2

Friday 29 April 2011 19:06

you were probably doing 55 in a fifty foe.

littlemissFYL 5

Friday 29 April 2011 21:37

OP was probably riding dirty.

Comments

_Skrillex_ 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 10:20

They have gangsters in china?

latnok_fml 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 17:38

hell yeah they do!

NOWAYJOSE 14

Saturday 30 April 2011 18:06

You ignorant piece of shit, Singapore is not China.

LoveCali 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 10:45

I Like Gangsters.Lol:) but Aww Im Sorry,but Happy Birthday.!.! && If Youre Mexican. Feliz Cumpleaños.!.!:)

manningkillsbrad 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 11:26

word......

cobras40 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 11:54

already done b4 get new material god

julicious_fml 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 12:19

Justin Bieber?

Havin 19

Saturday 30 April 2011 17:33

Sorry I accidently clicked you totally deserve it. One less person to worry about! :)

latnok_fml 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 17:36

that's so funny. love it.

omg_a_BALLOON 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 19:04

lookin like a fool wit your pants on the ground!

HunterAlpha1 8

Saturday 30 April 2011 19:11

1. get better friends, or maybe tell them it's your birthday 2. stop wearing your pants around your knees, get rid of the piercings and colored hair, and cover up the tattoos.

DjSmoz 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 19:24

happy birthday... now, stop dressing like eminem!

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Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 183

You deserved it 8 134

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I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 17

The Top

Today, a customer came into the store I work at to ask why I hadn't killed myself yet. A month prior, that same customer told me to kill myself. All I did was compliment her shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 86

Today, I was conducting a meeting regarding safety concerns on my field site. While I made a comment, a client rep yelled out that women don't know construction, and that I should be acting like a proper secretary and should get my boss. I'm the Construction Manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 729

You deserved it 2 403

Today, my friend invited me to play frisbee golf with him. On my first throw, my frisbee got stuck on a branch near the top of a very tall tree. This is why I don't do sports. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 101

Today, the mosquito infestation is so bad that multiple mosquitoes sucked the blood out of the steak I was grilling and promptly died on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 426

You deserved it 352

Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 285

You deserved it 9 933

Today, I hate my wife’s dog. It destroys everything in the house, it destroys my garden, she barks constantly in her bed, and when I walk her she tries to attack every living thing she sees, but the instant I talk to my wife about her behaviour, I get yelled at for being mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 175