Miscellaneous: Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent...

By Bec - 25/07/2011 14:10 - Australia

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 435

You deserved it 3 607

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/06/2013 03:23 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 788

You deserved it 17 569

By Ouch - 10/04/2011 08:55 - Canada

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. I had my headphones in and was blasting my music. It was also cold so I had my hood up. I had my back turned to the house and wasn't paying attention. My brother thought I was a burglar and tackled me to the concrete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 902

You deserved it 30 729

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 06:00

Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 220

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 30/07/2013 17:32 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 646

You deserved it 3 603

By wreckdit - 12/10/2016 23:55 - United States

Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 804

You deserved it 727

Possession

By Katelyn_Louise - 01/05/2021 10:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, someone left their drug bag on the table in the lounge at my place, probably a friend, and probably a mistake. The next minute the cops knock on the door and force their way in. Immediately the cop spots the drug bag and cuffs me. It wasn't even my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 861

Golden child

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 07:30 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I found out my junkie brother broke into my home, and stole mine AND my children's belongings whilst we were on holiday. I rang my mother to vent, only for her to blatantly defend him and insist I got it wrong. We caught him on camera, and now I'm being scolded for even thinking he would do such a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 489

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous - 16/09/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, I got lost trying to find the hospital my sister was giving birth in. I stopped at a store to call my mom for directions. A cop pulled up beside me and knocked loudly on my window asking me to get out. The store had been robbed and I am now a suspect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 914

You deserved it 2 559

By ari - 17/06/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I woke up to NYPD detectives banging on my door with flashlights, looking for some criminal who used to live in my house. Apparently, when they showed the man's mugshot to my neighbors upstairs, for some reason they identified the man as my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 646

You deserved it 3 023

Panic! In the Bathroom

By MAWZ - 19/07/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 749

You deserved it 5 161

JakeLee 6

Monday 25 July 2011 19:01

weed makes ya paranoid man...

maddybopeep 2

Monday 25 July 2011 19:01

can't pick your family, fyl

Comments

green_eggs_and_h 0

Monday 25 July 2011 19:13

You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your... family?

strainer04 8

Monday 25 July 2011 19:35

love it!

roflcopter423 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:04

I miss that show. what was it called again? The grim adventures of Billy and Mandy?

xxtru_dreadzxx 0

Monday 25 July 2011 19:13

was he still high??? hahahahahaha... paranoid from the chronic..

lizabeth131 0

Monday 25 July 2011 19:14

hahaha. he was probably still ****** up

YoLauryn 0

Monday 25 July 2011 19:14

way to be obvious.

Hjkdj 3

Monday 25 July 2011 19:16

This takes fire crotch to a whole new level.

Hjkdj 3

Monday 25 July 2011 19:18

Dang. Wrong FML.

gene818 13

Monday 25 July 2011 19:16

How well did he land?

IxLovexYouuuu 6

Monday 25 July 2011 19:16

i bet nobody suspected him....

rayrayray23 1

Monday 25 July 2011 19:24

this happened to me once.

gene818 13

Monday 25 July 2011 19:29

You jumped out of a three storey high window right after you saw the police because you thought they were after you for smoking bong 2 weeks ago? Or did your brother?

rayrayray23 1

Monday 25 July 2011 20:42

both actually.

kittycatman2 3

Monday 25 July 2011 19:28

Dear Mr Policemens, What had happened was....He was an accident by my parents made that just won't go away, even from the 3rd floor. The humanity of it all. The humanity!