Health: Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the...

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 561

You deserved it 17 497

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By ohnolunch - 05/03/2009 20:12 - United States

Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, and made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informs me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 742

You deserved it 15 976

Treasure hunt

By Klarissa - 18/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I told my roommate that I was trying to lose weight, so she kindly removed all the junk food from the kitchen. I just found it all hidden under her bed. Apparently, she didn’t trust me enough to resist temptation, and she was absolutely correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 658

By Weasel123 - 26/10/2012 07:58 - United States - Anadarko

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 947

You deserved it 2 352

By stillsick - 02/03/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 477

You deserved it 3 259

By merrymary - 07/01/2012 11:11 - United States

Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 738

You deserved it 6 053

Go vegan

By Done - 24/11/2020 05:02 - Italy

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 88

By roomatewoes - 01/04/2013 00:45 - United States - Northfield

Today, I came back to my dorm to find my roommate forgot to get rid of her massive amounts of cheese before break. She did, however, remember to unplug the refrigerator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 710

You deserved it 2 115

Roommates from Hell

By Snoodist - 06/05/2019 20:00

Today, as usual, I got home to find that my roommate had eaten all my groceries and left a mess behind for me to clean. To be fair, this time she did some cleaning - she "energy cleansed" my room with a sage wand, burning a huge hole in my mattress in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 109

You deserved it 154

By Anonymous - 30/09/2011 15:12 - Canada

Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that included the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 401

You deserved it 3 012

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 14:11

Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 198

mozeltov 7

Sunday 9 October 2011 1:49

See, that's what I do to help me lose weight, eat all the unhealthy stuff, and leave the healthy stuff for me to eat later

cBlackout 13

Sunday 9 October 2011 1:51

Time to plot your revenge over a nice carrot.

Comments

You_Need_Soap 6

Sunday 9 October 2011 2:14

Cook the roomate!

ThatGenericGuy 6

Sunday 9 October 2011 2:15

Ironic much?

Red_Wing_Nut44 14

Sunday 9 October 2011 2:17

Kinda ironic when you think about it...

lmaoatall 6

Sunday 9 October 2011 2:25

Buy more deli meat. Wipe ass with deli meat. Return deli meat to fridge. Laugh at roommate while roommate eats deli meat.

Nukey 2

Sunday 9 October 2011 2:31

Keep buying junk food until she gets fat? Then you'll be skinny, because you weren't eating it. XP

JinxosGirl87 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 2:33

Don't worry. The horrible diarreah you get from eating so much vegetables will be punishment enough for your roommate. Especially if you share a bathroom.

LouisianaBob 9

Sunday 9 October 2011 2:37

though if you normally eat a large amount of vegetables there would be no diarrhea. I would think the roommate would be the one who ends up with the diarrhea from eating junk and lots of dairy.

bizarre_ftw 21

Sunday 9 October 2011 2:38

Scare her by secretly taking in the seams of her clothes

saIty 17

Sunday 9 October 2011 2:40

Oh no! Not carrots, broccoli, and peas. *Gasp* Especially not the brussel sprouts.

SockMonkey333 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 2:46

And she's trying to keep you from getting fat but yet she ate all the food? Does that make any sense at all?

perdix 29

Sunday 9 October 2011 2:59

Yes, it makes sense. The roommate took one for the team by eating all the food that had calories in it. What raises eyebrows is how much the roommate can eat before she, too, gets fat?