Love, Intimacy and Sex: Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action...

By ailat0107 - 31/05/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year-old man who came up and handed us, "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 197

You deserved it 5 663

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/06/2012 14:59 - Ireland - Cork

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 685

You deserved it 4 716

Missed the signs?

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 04:00

Today, my husband and I visited a new bar in our city. It turned out to be a swingers sex club. He asked if we could stay and try it out, even though we were easily the oldest people there by about 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 176

Alpha male behavior

By Hotdamnthisismyjam - 16/06/2009 00:32 - Canada

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 257

You deserved it 6 638

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 189

You deserved it 21 644

By number2 - 14/06/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 064

You deserved it 4 514

By awkward23 - 12/01/2010 10:26 - United States

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 985

You deserved it 42 529

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 01:20 - United States

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 529

You deserved it 3 257

By hateskool888581 - 12/01/2010 00:28 - Mexico

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 921

You deserved it 2 347

Fair Warning

By TheNoseKnows - 16/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Bronx

Today, while sitting in a bar, I offered to buy the drunk chick sitting next to me a drink. She was a lot more inebriated than I thought, because she looked at me with bloodshot eyes and cheerfully responded, "There's a rotten smell in my vagina!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 879

You deserved it 2 595

By Anon - 28/01/2019 06:00 - United States - West Jefferson

Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 564

You deserved it 243

teehee520 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:47

Lmao, an origami vajayjay?! That's pretty awesome.

narwhalz 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:52

Just imagine what he can do with those hands!

Comments

Untoxicated 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 23:44

Haha :D had to vote both on this one. FYL cause.. well. that sucks. YDI just cause 1. rather its your fault you went out looking ugly or 2. its your fault you went to a crappy bar! :D but. An origami vajayjay IS pretty AWSOME :D lol

great_lawl 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 23:45

@ 18- ahahahah so true but that's really creepy, f your life

lolwut_fail 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 23:47

#32. Hello there. Marry me please...unless you're into that whole prenup thing.

NorfolkDude 2

Sunday 31 May 2009 23:57

For women, going to a bar is probably the worst idea ever. There are lots of deperate guys in that bar, and all the good ones are not in a bar. If you're looking to be "picked up" I suggest going elsewhere.

xoxo_121 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:03

sucks to be youu!

xoxo_121 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:03

sucks to be youu!

erroneousx2 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:05

LOL 15, it wouldnt surprise me, it sounds like something he'd do. Actually, come to think of it, I think this might've been him? Weeeird

funsize003 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:07

hahah omg this is by far my favorite FML in a while. so classic. btw...you don't know what he's put in that ******. I would be extremely careful with it.