Miscellaneous: Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't...

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 10:28 - United States

Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. 5 seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the happy sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 057

You deserved it 31 048

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Same thing different taste

Cobra KO

By WeakBitch - 18/02/2018 15:00

Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 7 653

They call him Mighty Force

By Stiny - 01/06/2011 18:44 - United States

Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 301

You deserved it 15 643

Boxed in

By Anonymous - 26/02/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 134

By Karate Kid - 25/05/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 972

You deserved it 35 386

By Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina - 01/06/2013 04:31 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 244

You deserved it 5 274

By Anon - 09/01/2013 19:27 - United States - Southbury

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 64 279

By filipinoclari808 - 16/04/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 797

You deserved it 81 445

By tom28402 - 22/02/2015 23:21 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 703

You deserved it 4 521

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 282

You deserved it 27 601

MMA FML

By ThatEndedWell - 07/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 4 621

Finnboghi 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 20:04

She's a bitch. Once is your fault. Twice is hers.

lovely_189 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 20:05

stupid bitch, punch her in the boobs :D

Comments

mattmag 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 22:40

What a bitch. Kneeing someone is not a TKD move.

xkaokaox 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 22:52

I'm a black belt in TKD... I don't remember the "knee your opponent in the balls" move. Hmm... lol

jiequals3 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 22:54

This has happened to me before... once a girl kicked me so her foot hit my butt and she was infront of me. I didn't feel any pain whatsoever. Oh and to #3 we also get disqualified for not wearing cups here.

Monty_Python 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 22:55

That sucks dude. FYL. Kick her ass in the next class.

omgoodnesswtf 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 22:56

FAIL!

well_this_sucks 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 22:59

STERILE!

wut_fml 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 22:59

lol you deserved it. Kicking someone in the balls might not be proper tae kwon do, but apparently it's a pretty effective way to defend yourself in general.

MukyDaCookie 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 23:02

Goddamnit man! Learn to block! That's why your in martial arts you fool. YDI for 2 reasons !) You didn't wear a cup 2) You cant block or evade a knee

ilikadapepsi 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 23:03

she deserves a firm pimp slap

MukyDaCookie 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 23:04

#41 that's utter BS. The first thing they teach you in a Karate class is thta it's only for self defense and to be used only as a last resort. A Karate master wouldn't go "beating up cops" for two reasons. 1) He is taught disciple and self control 2) Cops have guns and use them when thier lives are in danger.