Miscellaneous: Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonald's, I found out...

By Anonymous - 08/10/2011 16:00 - United States

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonald's, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 884

You deserved it 7 980

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Same thing different taste

By bglenney - 15/08/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 938

You deserved it 4 190

PTSD

By I have Flashbacks Now - 10/11/2016 21:15 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 409

You deserved it 911

Go big or go home

By kinwar - 27/09/2021 07:01 - United States - Hamburg

Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 126

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 387

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 16:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 835

You deserved it 5 530

Faulty plumbing

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 111

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 140

Too trusting

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 185

By monkers - 06/10/2012 07:12 - Canada - Westlock

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 261

You deserved it 1 779

Procrastination

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 113

You deserved it 16 738

rainbowbabe_907 5

Saturday 8 October 2011 19:51

Damn, wish I could do that.

RoseCrystal 17

Saturday 8 October 2011 19:51

um.....well done?

Comments

EvangelinaGirl 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 7:59

... You're very talented.

MainPrism 16

Sunday 9 October 2011 11:53

That's the funniest shit ive heard all day lmfao!!! No pun intended lol

Lauinater 4

Sunday 9 October 2011 13:52

Thats not a FML, you kind of GMH.

LoveMay 10

Sunday 9 October 2011 14:50

Ew. That's disgusting …

MegumiStarr 13

Sunday 9 October 2011 15:14

oh god. fyl!

Equin0x 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 15:56

That's quite impressive, though maybe not the best location.

hateevryone 14

Sunday 9 October 2011 15:58

that must have been one hella of a sneeze

WowUStupid 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 15:59

Did you blow your nose, wipe, and flush?

michi23 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 16:34

You should empty your bladder more often and that wont happen.

Superllama12 11

Sunday 9 October 2011 16:47

...out of your nose?

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The Top

Today, I found out my husband of four years has been cheating on me with his boss, who had been kind and treated me well. I never suspected it until I caught them in OUR bed. All he would ever do was come home and complain about how hard his job was. I guess that wasn't the only thing that was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 150

Here's the latest video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com, enjoy! Kay Akana, co-founder of 10secondtraumas.com, is also a stand-up comedian in LA. Do go and check out her performances, she did manage to make us lot laugh! ...

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 29

The Top

Today, my husband is refusing to go to a gastroenterologist. His farts have gotten so rank, they could be used as weapon to extract info from political prisoners, but he still insists nothing is wrong. Another night of this and I’ll be sleeping outside in in 30°F weather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 125

Today, I had my driver's permit in an envelope to keep it safe and a letter to mail out. I drove away from the post office with the letter in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 669

You deserved it 8 791

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 740

You deserved it 5 874

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 049

You deserved it 7 944

Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 844

You deserved it 75 987

Today, I got stung by a hornet. I asked my mum to pass me my allergy medication, but she refused, because they were my brother's, saying "he's allergic to bees and wasps!" No mum, wrong kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 108