Miscellaneous: Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu...

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 507

You deserved it 10 829

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Panic!

By Anonymous - 31/12/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 500

By combovercaiti_ - 25/01/2019 12:00

Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 294

You deserved it 375

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 603

You deserved it 8 502

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 055

You deserved it 3 425

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 061

You deserved it 7 202

By dealtit - 30/07/2014 03:49 - United States - Toccoa

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 173

You deserved it 6 855

By fart - 27/11/2014 15:13 - United States - Houghton Lake

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 123

You deserved it 7 285

By tmac05 - 13/11/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 3 015

By Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 825

You deserved it 42 663

By fartwoman - 23/06/2010 01:41 - United States

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 137

You deserved it 62 911

splat_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:53

Today, when I was out to go for a romantic diner with my girlfriend, a waitress came up to us. Right before she was going to give us the menu, she farted really loud. I felt my hair blowing in the wind. FML.

24788 6

Monday 18 May 2009 12:15

That's what I call giving your customers a little extra. Even though it's a horrible gift!

Comments

beebeeL 1

Monday 18 May 2009 22:45

LMAO . wow i woulda been SO grossed out & left . lmao suxx furr yu .

Blanadestroyer 0

Monday 18 May 2009 22:50

If I was the guest I would be like: "You just blew off your chances of getting any tips from me today!"

totalbadass 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:13

Did anyone notice this is the same guy who while working as a cashier wrote his number on a dollar bill for a hot girl? So you also moonlight as a gassy waitress, dude? That may explain why she wasn't that into you.

Jellybones 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:17

**** all these people that wouldn't give you a tip. I'd give you a huge one for making me laugh. Also, to the people saying "how do you accidentally fart?", you've seriously never accidentally farted? Your asshole must be uncomfortably tight. I remember back in school when kids would bend over to pick up a pencil and let one rip on accident. It was hilarious.

McLaughlane 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:19

LOL that is so funny. If I were at the table I'd have laughed my ass off. But I'd be laughing with you, not at you, because everybody farts, don't feel too bad about it.