Animals: Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise...

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 20:53 - United States

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 253

You deserved it 5 275

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Same thing different taste

Part of the furniture

By ripped - 07/09/2016 14:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 832

You deserved it 1 374

By scratchpost - 28/10/2010 12:07 - United States

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 927

You deserved it 4 622

By cdn_steed - 23/04/2011 13:11 - United States

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 972

You deserved it 4 661

By ouchh - 11/09/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 942

You deserved it 7 327

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 514

You deserved it 28 636

Meow!

By patronuscat? - 05/10/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 625

You deserved it 1 064

Body modification

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 14:00

Today, I got a nipple piercing. My girlfriend thought I was pranking her with a fake piercing, because I wouldn’t be "daft enough" to get a real one, and she yanked it off, or rather through, my nipple. Yes, it cut my poor nip in half, and I now have two nipples where once I had only one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 360

By ihatecats - 01/12/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 176

You deserved it 16 610

By Anonymous - 04/09/2017 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 144

You deserved it 482

Cat mojo

By Oww - 09/08/2022 00:00

Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 166

chazzlerazzle 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 1:42

at least it was free a lot of people have to pay a lot for one of those

afdude87 6

Saturday 15 January 2011 1:48

yes yes, because cats are no match for a mighty t shirt.

Comments

MannEMannE 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 3:40

some people are pretty into that. others would put their cat down.

MarineWifey88 3

Saturday 15 January 2011 3:50

If you would put a cat down for clawing you, you don't deserve to have a pet.

talb1 7

Saturday 15 January 2011 3:42

I know I'm going to be hated for this, but i hate cats with a passion. >.

talb1 7

Saturday 15 January 2011 4:48

Thank you!

jose1760 1

Saturday 15 January 2011 3:44

Who plays with there cat toppless???

Stevefett 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 3:48

Why won't my comments post? Arrggghhh!!!

varkey 7

Saturday 15 January 2011 3:58

declaw?

xmarkstheheart 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 4:03

What shop does your cat work at? Do they do tattoos as well?

DakotaCat 4

Saturday 15 January 2011 4:24

Op: Hey Fluffy! Fluffy: Surprise! Op: What's this? Fluffy: A nipple piercing for your birthday! Op: Aaaw! Thank you! *everywhere you look plays*

kylekos92 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 4:33

lmao sucks for you. i hope it heals

ulicksam 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 5:00

YDI for owning a useless cat.

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Saturday 15 January 2011 5:34

You're an unappreciative bastard. You get a free piercing and all you can do is complain?

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous Cats DIY Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Technology Mental health Health Anxiety Sleep Clumsy Noise Roommate AITA Confused Parents

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You deserved it 96

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 132

Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 304

Today, I went out on a date with an ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex-girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 139

You deserved it 7 995

Today, I called the guy I've liked for a long time and told him how I felt. He didn't say anything except for "hello." After I spilled my feelings, I hear "Haha, just kidding I'm not here right now! Call me back later!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 726

You deserved it 8 736

Today, at 2 a.m. I heard a noise coming from the living room. I thought somebody must be breaking in, so I had to save my cats. When I opened the door, all I could see was the only plant I owned, all over the room. The cats just greeted me with a friendly purr, like they were happy I was joining them in their sandbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 226

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

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You deserved it 3 510