Roommate and Miscellaneous: Together forever

Together forever

By Will - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 258

You deserved it 5 164

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Same thing different taste

Roommates from hell

By HGTV - 01/10/2013 18:43 - United States - Boston

Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 870

You deserved it 4 116

Freeze peach

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 22:30

Today, my kids decided to draw on the walls with permanent marker, and now my house looks like a modern art exhibit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 272

By maturity - 08/04/2013 00:30 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 990

You deserved it 64 256

By rbates - 25/07/2009 18:32 - United States

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 789

You deserved it 60 433

By fucker43 - 02/06/2013 06:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 793

You deserved it 4 731

By Stormbringer - 01/02/2011 06:37

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 456

You deserved it 4 119

By WasteOfTime - 01/11/2009 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 359

You deserved it 3 449

Parenting fail

By Anonymous - 21/01/2020 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee. When I went back, my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, God knows where, since I don't own a permanent marker. She'd then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs and as an added bonus the TV screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 984

You deserved it 547

By dumbass1991 - 12/12/2010 19:36 - United States

Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 137

You deserved it 121 831

Goodbye

By thedancer5 - 03/08/2011 16:47 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 855

You deserved it 3 388

enough4 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 13:28

"Today I encountered an easily fixable problem that I was too stupid to look up on Google. FML"

aback 4

Tuesday 15 December 2009 12:59

Draw one on his forehead while he's asleep.

Comments

enough4 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 13:28

"Today I encountered an easily fixable problem that I was too stupid to look up on Google. FML"

NoIAmSerious 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 2:54

hahah i like this.

Lolitia 4

Tuesday 15 December 2009 13:41

the fact that you don't know these tips/tricks already is the real FML. . . .

GodOfBeer 5

Tuesday 15 December 2009 13:43

Will, just watch the willy and STFU lol

yirrare 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 13:46

Blast it with piss!

catkat1988 17

Tuesday 15 December 2009 13:55

lol, having shared an apartment with three guys for three years, I've learned all about how to erase unwanted writings/drawings with permanent markers from refridgerators/whiteboards. The others are right about their advise, all of the above stated methods will work. Other than that, I find your room mates initiative and timing rather amusing.

joossm10 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 14:02

Mr. Clean magic erasers would be the first thing I'd try

Maygen 5

Tuesday 15 December 2009 14:30

Mr. clean magic erasers are actually kinda amazing... :D

itsme88 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 16:05

That was I was going to suggest. It will take it right off.

LilaBear 1

Wednesday 16 December 2009 6:08

now why would you use perfume to remove it when metho and kero are heaps cheaper and still do the job?? Edit: FML is being retarded again. This reply was not meant for this comment. Soz!

gizzy_A 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 14:02

just use nail polish remover.. itll come rite off ...

polico_wolf 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 14:33

And where would they have nail polish remover?

john_cena_fml 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 16:21

Well, if they didn't have any they could buy some.

mickyblueeyes 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 14:34

YDI for being too retarded to clean it off.

edgeofhysteria 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 14:44

omg, a drawn penis. dramatic.

perdix 29

Tuesday 15 December 2009 14:48

What's the big deal? I've had to look at giant red penis everyday for my whole life! That's because it is attached to me! Heh-heh-heh. Just kidding, ladies, don't get too excited. . . it's actually more of a purple. ;)