Awkward, Farts and Love: Toot toot

Toot toot

By gassy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 249

You deserved it 36 065

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Same thing different taste

By combo - 28/02/2010 09:12 - France

Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 976

You deserved it 27 540

By Oops - 23/05/2010 09:21 - Australia

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 216

You deserved it 29 950

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 519

You deserved it 1 383

By anti-peecleaner - 22/11/2010 22:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 444

You deserved it 5 234

By Stinky - 20/11/2011 10:23 - United States

Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 193

You deserved it 4 895

By Walk of Shame - 13/11/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 6 020

Another fine mess

By wow - 16/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 341

By Anonymous - 06/01/2012 15:50 - United States

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 537

You deserved it 9 415

By Crashburn - 16/01/2012 11:09 - United Kingdom

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 872

You deserved it 15 390

By brooke - 13/08/2012 04:45 - United States

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 456

You deserved it 25 228

old09 11

Tuesday 12 February 2013 18:56

They're invisible I swear!

rattusrattus 18

Tuesday 12 February 2013 18:58

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP! You can't let your boyfriend know that you're a human being with bodily functions! He will never want one of those! Your relationship is doomed! *clutches pearls, swoons*

Comments

erockinthesuburb 17

Tuesday 12 February 2013 19:17

Most people would blame the dog, and not shoefarts.

mikeymayhem_87 15

Tuesday 12 February 2013 19:22

Not everybody has a dog. For all we know, OP could have a fish! Blame the fish perhaps?

erockinthesuburb 17

Tuesday 12 February 2013 19:25

Wouldn't there be bubbles then? lol

dontpanic_fml 32

Tuesday 12 February 2013 19:23

Hate to tell you this darlin, but having shoes on wouldn't have made your excuse hold up much better.

exodius06 7

Tuesday 12 February 2013 19:28

You shouldn't have tried to explain it that way but most guys are just going to find it hilarious.

Heather645 5

Tuesday 12 February 2013 19:28

SoSickWithIt 14

Tuesday 12 February 2013 20:36

Guys. Comment of the decade here.^

DanielleinDC 33

Tuesday 12 February 2013 19:31

As the Reformed ****** sing, Girls poop too. And they fart.

CheeseHater 23

Tuesday 12 February 2013 19:33

I hate it when people are embarrassed about natural functions, for example farts or burps. That has to be the biggest turn-off in history. YDI for being one of those assholes.

unknown_user5566 26

Tuesday 12 February 2013 19:51

41- Wait. Someone being embarrassed by something makes them an asshole? You should be embarrassed by the lack of logic in that theory. Now, what does that make you?