Sex and Intimacy: Tu as compris ?

Tu as compris ?

By gleefan116 - 28/08/2010 00:18 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 609

You deserved it 9 063

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 1 782

By French - 24/10/2013 12:52 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 724

You deserved it 4 691

By showerpower - 21/01/2010 00:23 - United States

Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 510

You deserved it 34 894

By Indigo_Kitten - 08/08/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 983

You deserved it 19 056

Cute

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 18:00 - Canada - Québec

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate in the bed for the first time. Halfway through the session, she slowly leaned over to my ear, thinking she was going to say something dirty. Instead, she decided to let out a long burp because she thought it was "cute". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 230

By pooh anne - 26/02/2013 20:26 - United States - Fort Smith

Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 081

You deserved it 7 981

By SwAGkiLlS - 15/07/2012 15:12 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 955

You deserved it 5 075

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 056

You deserved it 59 091

By james - 14/12/2008 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 117

You deserved it 6 860

By undoable - 08/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 191

You deserved it 9 764

xJC77x 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 9:12

Did it still turn you on?

lolorly 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 9:21

Your name is "gleefan" and you have a girlfriend?

Comments

PunxsatownyPhil 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 16:45

I know OP's a lesbian, but I couldn't help but think of "**** in my pants"

fierystage 8

Saturday 28 August 2010 17:26

Um, you don't learn how to say things like that in elementary French. It's usually things like "Je m'appelle Marie, tu t'appelles comment? Ça va? Je vais bien." I don't think I learned the words "maigrir" or "perdre du poids" until I was in my third year of French.

Lord_of_0 4

Wednesday 13 October 2010 22:32

If the OP was having sex, something tells me that she wasn't in elementary. Just saying.

Efilyn 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 19:18

Elementary as in beginner level, not elementary school.

SweptAway 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 17:53

well it was in French so at least it sounded pretty. And you said she had just started French classes, so maybe she meant something else. Either that or it's all she knows how to say.

bonjovi_rules 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 18:18

well i personally am a chuckyish person but did weigh like 270 in my fatter days now im 170...... but i dont feel sorry for any fat people unless they have a legitimant reason like a certain illness... put down the f***ing twinkie trust me if i can turn down a ho ho anyone can.

Spastastic 6

Sunday 29 August 2010 18:30

Chuckyish? You're like a scary talking doll?? I'm sorry, that was a terrible joke. I couldn't resist.

GCSB 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 19:55

She probably didn't mean it.. it's probably the only thing she knows how to say well, and she probably thought it SOUNDED pretty... I'm Sicilian, and the only thing I can say is "old age is a pain in the ass". I'm 21, but the way it sounds is pretty :-)