Uh oh

By awkward - 26/07/2013 18:00 - United States - Yorba Linda

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
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Same thing different taste

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Comments

brandoneyez1 25

Sounds like his first time ever at all

3 1
perdix 29

I'll let him in some of the perdix magic: "That's what I'm talkin' about." "Boy, howdy!" "I'll buy that for a dollar." "Humminah, Humminah, Humminah!" There's some sexy talk with a proven track record, even when said in a monotone.

20 0
zfchatroulette 24

WTF? #50, I just pictured this happening... and... uhh... Confused and disturbed.

2 1
2tone2bone 3

ROFL oh god that's a new one. Hummina hummina hummina. That's the best oh man my kidney

0 0
bosox29 14

Perdix, you sure do got a purtty mouth, no but seriously you have an amazing way with words, that makes me almost piss myself when I read them...

0 0
jw90 18

If he's had sex before he could have been comparing you to others. Which isn't good. But you could have also been boring. Hard to tell OP. anyway sorry it was uncomfortable

4 0
JudgeComrade 17

Maybe you need to do more than lie there and wait for him to do everything.

2 3
redbandit9877 12

Those are the same three things my therapist always says, is your boyfriend a therapist by chance?

5 0
Anyb0dyTh 8

Practice practice practice! :D

2 0
bevOH 7

Was he holding a score card and a pen OP?

6 0
chocolatefrog28 29

At least he wasn't saying something like "Happy birthday, grandma!" in the middle of the act, be happy. Sex was had.

6 0