Kids: Who? What?

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Who? What?

By Female - 22/01/2013 23:16 - Australia - Elsternwick

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum." I'm only 26 years-old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 888

You deserved it 2 818

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/10/2014 01:33 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 997

You deserved it 4 146

By Anon - 23/06/2014 23:13 - United States - Denton

Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 975

You deserved it 5 971

The Child Catcher

By Not a child hater - 30/10/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 71

By ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 653

You deserved it 10 155

By duckthehack - 28/01/2011 14:25 - Poland

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 987

You deserved it 8 903

By bitch i'm a gerontophile - 29/11/2012 18:08 - Taiwan

Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 172

You deserved it 1 870

Stranger danger!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 710

You deserved it 52 195

Such a rush

By Anonymous - 20/05/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Loughborough

Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 447

By notyouagain - 03/10/2010 07:40 - Australia

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 601

You deserved it 4 949

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 23:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 016

You deserved it 5 518

Palirose 22

Wednesday 23 January 2013 9:04

Tell the police that, so that they can take him to his real home and family.

tacojauns 45

Wednesday 23 January 2013 9:10

Congratulations on your new son!

Comments

jake5laura 6

Wednesday 23 January 2013 10:25

Nope, I saved the kids ass and offered to drive him home and not tell his parents.. But not before I made him pay me the same amount he was fined for the vandalizing as punishment, and after finding out he lives in our street he's also mowing our lawns for a month or i'll rat him out to his parents. I would've preffered to be taken home lol

hipsterhunter 9

Thursday 24 January 2013 0:33

And OP delivers.

drzfinest062011 4

Wednesday 23 January 2013 10:26

lmao I woild of been like who the **** is this get em away from me

rabbitsarecutexx 3

Wednesday 23 January 2013 10:38

Do you live in frankston lol

fmlinact 12

Wednesday 23 January 2013 11:04

Put him up as a ward of the state then.

fml121785 14

Wednesday 23 January 2013 11:17

Yea, he didn't think that through too well did he? I'm wondering how 82 people could have voted YDI on this?! Was it their fault for answering the door?!

egc573 40

Wednesday 23 January 2013 11:33

31-That is wrong on so many levels. 5th grade? I didn't even know what a penis WAS in 5th grade, and I sure as heck wouldn't have wanted to see one! Sadly, pregnancy at 11 would indeed be very possible. I believe the youngest mother ever on record was a Peruvian girl, age 5. Yes, 5.

padlarf 14

Wednesday 23 January 2013 11:43

"Officer, I have never seen this boy in my life."

napalm_uniqorn 27

Wednesday 23 January 2013 11:52

This is the best thing I have read all day. and to make it even better, it's from my country, and my state!! This is one really really smart kid. Who would have thought to do that? Congrats to the kid!