Awkward, Drugs and Work: Woozy

Woozy

By Dunzo15 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 704

You deserved it 52 078

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By DontGive2Fox - 05/03/2019 04:00

Today, I had my first job interview and didn’t have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn’t speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 256

You deserved it 1 668

Dirty protest

By Paul - 21/08/2023 00:02

Today, I had a job interview; unfortunately for me, I was so nervous that all of a sudden I felt the need to take a huge dump. My bowels started growling out of protest. I tried to play it off as if it was due to me being hungry, but it sounded like I had a monster trapped in my guts. The interviewer raised an eyebrow in disbelief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 112

By Anonyme - 29/05/2012 10:19

Today, I went to my first ever job interview, in a totally stressed out state. The employer's first question was: "What's your name?" I forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 841

You deserved it 9 950

That went well

By not on life, that's for fucking sure - 25/10/2014 18:27 - United States

Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 515

You deserved it 5 116

By Tiffer27 - 25/01/2016 18:02 - United States

Today, I went to a very important job interview. I was so nervous that I passed out right in front of the interviewer's desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 462

You deserved it 2 449

By RIP job - 28/09/2016 04:26 - Australia

Today, I had a job interview for an amazing opportunity. Too bad my nerves made me forget what the role was and where it was, mid-interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 219

You deserved it 1 547

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 667

You deserved it 992

That escalated quickly

By lonelyharts86 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 256

You deserved it 3 898

By ugh - 21/01/2014 18:55 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I went to an important job interview. I was really anxious but tried to soldier on anyway. When I was called in, my nerves got so bad that I reverted to speaking my second language. Not first, second. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 451

You deserved it 6 029

Stress test

By anonymous - 20/10/2010 06:38 - New Zealand

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 608

You deserved it 13 383

Fredzter 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 19:12

HAHAHA!!

FunWriter20 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 19:13

Lol, that is so funny! Wish I had that brownie now. Sucks for you, though. I hope it wasn't for a career, but just for a minimum wage job.

Comments

mike307 11

Monday 17 December 2012 22:06

SCORE! How's that a FML

ak_girl04 4

Monday 28 January 2013 0:42

Sweet haha

_RedHawK_101_ 0

Tuesday 21 May 2013 5:50

Weed Brownies? :P

Orchard 33

Friday 24 May 2013 20:54

Never trust a brownie you didn't bake yourself ;)

Sir_Swaggington 6

Wednesday 12 June 2013 16:26

And this is why you don't steal stuff.

threer 30

Monday 1 July 2013 20:19

Shame on you for taking another's brownie! YDI.. no, seriously.

evolute72113 9

Wednesday 17 July 2013 4:58

U can bust him for weed and if u call a crime stoppers number make some quick cash

kaitlynanne33 5

Friday 25 October 2013 21:48

LOL I've had that happen once & I had to go to school . I got a 17 on my retake test . fyl

LedBasedPaint 8

Monday 4 November 2013 17:13

How did you make it home? I assume if you were that stoned, every road looked a little yellow-bricked.

Leeroy2259 4

Thursday 21 November 2013 17:33

haha that's funny

Keywords

Love AITA Awkward First Dates Dogs Animals Cute Alcohol Am I overreacting? Health Relatable Food Holidays Miscellaneous Family Thanksgiving Politics Transportation Cars Sex Intimacy Contraception Suspicious Cheating Poopoo peepee Kids Gross Accident Birthday Gifts

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 824

You deserved it 4 306

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 350

You deserved it 403

The Top

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me using LinkedIn, a platform people use to connect with potential employers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 452

You deserved it 183

Today, my nutjob girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my best friend, just because she's a woman. Before she left, my now-ex decided to punish me by destroying the dissertation I've spent months working on, along with both backups of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 603

You deserved it 4 668

Today, we recently found out I'm infertile, and I thought we were both devastated, until my partner posted a drunk video to Facebook, basically celebrating that we will never have, "crying, nappy-shitting, soul-sucking, bank account-draining little sods." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 279

You deserved it 392

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 528

You deserved it 2 533

Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2am I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 959

You deserved it 5 952

Today, I drove 4 hours to see a girl I’ve been messaging with for months. Her friends came along for everything. I opted to sleep in my car, and go fishing alone. I didn’t know the river was near a nuclear power plant, so I’m probably sterile now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 409