You wanker

By Jeremy - 10/05/2009 01:04 - United States

Spicy
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 301
You deserved it 87 309

Same thing different taste

Top comments

This just in: Locks were around since before the dark ages. OP should investigate further

That's kind of gross...you saw someone then bolted to your room? and 1 and 2, not everyone has locks on doors.

Comments

WickedAwsum 0

Lmao, that is the most hilarious thing I have ever read! Why didn't you lock the door?

That's sick. Can't you hold out for a little while? YDI.

OP needs to get laid big time. He sees someone beautiful and first instinct is to yank it? If every dude had this mentality the human race would've died out eons ago.

That's disgusting. You couldn't wait? SERIOUSLY? Ugh.

#55, people still wank even after they get laid... Clearly you have never had sex *rolleyes* I wanna know what happens next anyway

fatass123 0

#55- WTF? "do it in the bathroom sink like a normal person" To be honest, I've never heard of anybody doing in that. Why the Sink? People use the sink, and it gets sticky after a while. Go for the toilet if you MUST. It flushes down like nothing happened. Flip on the fan and act like you are taking a shit. If you don't have locks on your doors, you better make sure nobody is home before you jerk off in your room. You are especially stupid, seeing that 12 people (plus a DOG) were there. You deserved that one, buddy.

the_walrus 0

my dog can open doors-once the bastard smelt brownies in my room and broke in. Stupid dog had no idea what hit it an hour later. That sucks-when/if you return to the party you should say to any bemused guests 'at least my mum didn't spot my girlfriend' thus regaining some credibility.

NoReallyFMyLife 0

YDI for having no self control whatsoever

"After seeing 1 of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to **********" YDI