By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 217
You deserved it 4 774
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Top comments

715chiefs 15

He started out in your balls, he was just trying to find a way back in.

289 21

Comments

md101 18

Sounds like a ball breaker of a day.

24 2
cakefete2 30

#1, he's trying to stomp out all future competition for his dad's love.

58 2
incoherentrmblr 21

Sounds like your son is learning Krav Maga...

1 10
715chiefs 15

He started out in your balls, he was just trying to find a way back in.

289 21
domolovesyoshi 33

Because that's not how reproduction works

2 59
Wingnuts 12

Tell him he killed his soon-to-be-brother.

26 76
AlaskanG 27

And why would you ever say that to a 5-year old?

70 7
cartoonboy 26

Just drop him off at the adoption place

cakefete2 30

Go to timeout and think about what you've done. If you still believe that was appropriate, stay in the corner and think some more.

52 4
SwtCherryPie 26

Because you can't admit your son hurt you? and maybe in the process teach him to be careful around such sensitive areas?

161 7
imasquealer 1

Exactly. My son is four and knows not to jump on daddy's balls.

65 2
cakefete2 30

Why shouldn't he jump on your balls? Does it have anything to do with your screen name?

62 6
asnakelovinbabe 16

^^^^ I am dying of laughter.

26 4
Sp1k3FML 14

Fyl,you chose to have kids.

gshocker20 21

Coming from the prepubescent teenager.

92 2
AlaskanG 27

So did your parents. Think they regret it?

80 1
junkman6 22

That's YDI for choosing to have kids. Getting ball busted comes with the territory of child raising.

4 18
kelsorg 21

explain to him how one day he will share the same "happiness" lol

87 3
Saikon1357 25

Son, someday in the future you will understand why daddy is crying.

16 1
Shmatterhorn 38

Especially when they get to choose which nursing home you get to go to at the end.

16 0
chris4u2nv5 19

I would have explained it to him a different way!!! The old fashion way.

27 5
cakefete2 30

I can't help but picture your "old fashioned" way involving OP punching his son in the groin and saying "hurts don't it?".

37 2
chosha_fml 26

For accidentally hurting him? Sometimes the old-fashioned way is just the asshole parent way.

0 3