Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge."...

By purged - 08/06/2013 23:43 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 066

You deserved it 8 647

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/02/2010 08:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 790

You deserved it 7 816

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 19:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 563

You deserved it 2 628

Cancelled

By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 03:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie where a girl proposed to a guy. He said, "I would hate it if that happened to me, obviously I don't want to get married if I haven't proposed myself." I was planning on proposing later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 368

You deserved it 8 820

By kel - 08/11/2013 23:50 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 958

You deserved it 7 474

Good to know

By DeadScared - 19/09/2011 00:23 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 014

You deserved it 3 566

By Abendigo77 - 14/01/2013 04:49 - United States - Healdsburg

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 562

You deserved it 6 842

By Anonymous - 07/09/2016 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 455

You deserved it 2 118

Foreshadowing

By Confused - 31/07/2022 12:00

Today, my boyfriend of four years, who has never been anything but loving and supportive, told me after I made a joke that there has been “a change” in how he deals with people, that he has been “purging,” and that I could be next because he “has needs too.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 266

By fmmmmlll - 12/06/2012 05:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 201

You deserved it 2 450

Bonkers

By Anonymous - 27/05/2024 08:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, the cops had to be called while my boyfriend and I were hanging out with some friends of ours. It all started when one of them said that he would kill himself if I didn't "just end your fucking relationship already, and date me instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 93

Rawr6591 21

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:03

That's a red flag

angelofsaturn 23

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:05

I'd sleep with a machete from now on.

Comments

Rawr6591 21

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:03

That's a red flag

FYLorYDIohno 12

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:25

Some things are better left unsaid.

lp5252 4

Sunday 9 June 2013 11:36

looks like someone will be needing to get life insurance..

EMTchic 14

Sunday 9 June 2013 14:12

Yeaa, just make sure he's not her beneficiary... Don't need to give him anymore reasons to off her O.O

thisgirl97 7

Monday 10 June 2013 2:02

Time to find a new boyfriend...

4002489 1

Monday 10 June 2013 4:17

Obvious joke is obvious...

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:04

Glad the Purge isn't real...

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:44

Unless the boyfriend turns out to be a serial psycho purger.

Phoebe_Buffay 14

Sunday 9 June 2013 11:46

You..... You mean you haven't heard?

Falassalond 16

Sunday 9 June 2013 21:14

Heard what???

slickchrome 11

Sunday 9 June 2013 23:14

bird is the word!

nava1210 12

Monday 10 June 2013 1:22

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

angelofsaturn 23

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:05

I'd sleep with a machete from now on.

AbstraktThoughts 13

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:16

**** that! I'd be hiding in an underground bunker with millions of weapons to be used at my disposal!

saad2605 16

Sunday 9 June 2013 11:28

Don't know if that's such a great idea. Then he has easy access to a machete while you sleep. ;P

Zebediabolical 39

Sunday 9 June 2013 21:47

I think she means Machete. From the movie of the same name. The boyfriend wouldn't dare attack her in her sleep if it meant he might wake up!

SokDek 14

Monday 10 June 2013 7:35

I'd rather have that badass shotgun the dad used.

mikepzz 27

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:05

I'm sure he's just kidding, but maybe not :0

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:46

I'm sure you're right, but maybe not :0

xlord 27

Sunday 9 June 2013 11:46

I'm sure one of you is being sarcastic, but maybe not :O

LemonandLime 13

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:05

Young love... Maybe you should start talking to him about your zombie survival plans. Like, how its good to have someone with you who runs slower.

DJ_Lyons 15

Sunday 9 June 2013 13:04

Or someone to trip...

rapunzel3416 28

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:05

I would not be able to handle it if the purge was real. I'd die first.

MrSassypants 32

Sunday 9 June 2013 14:29

I would have a lot of televisions...

cd8919 12

Sunday 9 June 2013 23:54

Get your self a real man to keep you safe end of story

dinosxxrawr 22

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:06

but since it would be legal to kill. you should get to him first.

blue001 5

Monday 10 June 2013 6:32

it might be legal, but it's wrong to kill another

Autosaver 15

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:06

It's time to get away as far as you can.

Myo_fml 20

Sunday 9 June 2013 19:09

Agumon! =D

Nath1G 4

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:06

Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!

tannerr 6

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:06

Well, at least he is honest.

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I agree, your life sucks 81 789

You deserved it 6 438

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 36 945

You deserved it 4 518

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I agree, your life sucks 60 913

You deserved it 2 463

Today, a customer approached me, smiling and asked what kind of cheese was in our cheddar cheese balls. Thinking he was joking, I laughed and said "swiss." He ordered, found they were indeed cheddar cheese, and reported me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 569

You deserved it 19 396

Today, I sat through an incredibly long and tedious class lecture. Just as my professor was nearing the end of his lecture, the resident stoner loudly yawned and asked what we'd been talking about for the past hour. We got to hear most of the lecture all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 016

You deserved it 2 415

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I agree, your life sucks 3 501

You deserved it 339

Today, I took my dogs to the park and sat in the grass while they played. Within the first half hour two male dogs peed on my back. The first owner apologized and gave me a wipe to clean up while the second one had the nerve to tell me "this is why I bring a chair" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 835

You deserved it 1 506

Same thing different taste

Cancelled

Good to know

Foreshadowing

Bonkers

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