The Top

Hi guys, OP here. He is my ex now, because I decided that his aggressive undertones means I might be in for a repeat. He is pretty aggressive in general, and this is one of a few examples so its probably best to move on before its too late. I'm 22 years old and was abused at 16, so he doesn't understand how I couldn't be over it by now. I'm currently looking for other places to live because we live together. Thank you all for the positive support, I am going to try to get myself into a better situation as fast as I can.

By nancie - 02/08/2018 20:30

Today, while I was at work, my husband threw out 50 out of my 70 T-shirts, all of my tank tops, and all but one of my sweaters. I'm not getting them back because they're burning in a bonfire in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 865

You deserved it 718

By simpleasjam - 19/09/2016 14:27 - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, I screamed at a taxi driver to not run over a hedgehog. He got a fright and ended up pulling over. I hopped out and ran to the middle of the road to pick up the hedgehog and leave him on the grass by the path. As I got closer and went to pick up said hedgehog, I realised it was a pinecone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 183

You deserved it 6 731

By Sissyleemae - 16/09/2018 14:30

Today, I got fired from my job for stopping a shoplifter. Where's the logic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 062

You deserved it 337

By makehimscrubit - 14/09/2016 03:18 - United States - Hawthorne

Today, I found out the guys I live with have an ongoing contest to see if they can hit targets on the inside of the toilet lid with urine when they pee. I could forgive this in my seven-year-old son, but not my forty-year-old husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 149

You deserved it 1 389

Pissed

By Sally - 24/08/2018 22:00

Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 627

You deserved it 865

By Anonymous - 30/08/2018 23:30

Today, I got home from work, took a shower, got ready for bed, and laid down right in cat piss. Now I'm shampooing the mattress and taking another shower just to sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 892

You deserved it 419

By Well then - 10/09/2018 03:30

Today, I discovered that my fiancé and I had vastly different definitions of monogamy. Don't worry, he only did it when he was mad at me to remind him how much he loved me. I found out from my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 302

You deserved it 235

By Impressionist - 25/08/2016 11:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I made quite an impression on my new bin men by forgetting to put the bin out 'til the last minute. I'm sure they enjoyed a good laugh at the woman in shorts, tank top and slippers struggling with a brolly as she slipped and slid while dragging her bin up a hill in a downpour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 498

You deserved it 2 400

By jaci - 24/07/2016 15:27 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I went downstairs to get a drink and overheard my grandparents talking about me. They spent a good 15 minutes double-team attacking me for my failings as a human being, mainly me not being married with children yet. I'm barely 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 068

You deserved it 1 142

The Talk

By TalkedTo - 14/11/2018 03:00

Today, at 16 years-old, I got "the talk" from Dad. He began with, "I don’t really need to give you the talk do I? It would just be awkward for us both." I agreed with him, and we drove home in silence. Thanks for avoiding the awkwardness, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 363

You deserved it 385

By Zahkrii - 26/12/2018 16:00

Today, while returning from a class, I stopped to use the bathroom. While in said bathroom, someone threw a chip bag filled with piss water into the stall I was using. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 771

You deserved it 345

By Amazon Ruined My Life - 28/12/2018 14:00

Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 3 427

By tracy4191 - 13/06/2016 15:27 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 519

You deserved it 813

Seething jealousy

By Anonymous - 07/06/2016 01:04

Today, my sister, who has been seeing a guy for a year, got engaged. I've been dating my boyfriend for over 5 years and let out some not so subtle hints and he basically refused to propose. This is her second marriage in the time of my relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 179

You deserved it 2 586

By Reeen - 03/06/2016 22:29 - United States - Pittsboro

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 695

You deserved it 1 244

By "baow" - 17/03/2019 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I met this girl and we ended up having sex at her place. She decided to give me some head underneath the cover, it really was great until her Garfield sized cat decided to jump on her head and make her choke on it. Guess who got kicked out in the middle of the night for being too reckless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 159

You deserved it 339

By ash - 18/05/2016 20:00 - United States - Winnebago

Today, I went shopping on my only day off. The only aisle open was self-checkout. I'm a cashier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 986

You deserved it 1 773

By gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 574

You deserved it 436

By Anonymous - 19/04/2016 02:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple of blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 572

You deserved it 2 706

By ShitShoveler - 14/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Abington

Today, a month after getting a big promotion, I found out that I'm stuck with my old job. No one wants to take my old position, so they are vacating my new one and will post it, because, "This one is more desirable, and your's is shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 273

You deserved it 351

By DaycareMama92 - 28/04/2017 16:00

Today, I fractured a bone in my foot by dropping a shampoo bottle on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 278

You deserved it 418

By GOLLUM! - 18/05/2017 00:00

Today, after being without my car keys for two days, I finally got a locksmith to unlock my car on the off chance I'd left my keys in there. $170 later, the car was open, but I didn't find my keys. Frustrated, I threw the paperwork in the garbage... where I spotted my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 679

You deserved it 2 003

By Mr. King - 16/03/2016 08:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, whilst walking past a large pond-sized puddle, a double decker bus and a van slowed and drove around the puddle so as not to splash me. Thinking luck was on my side, I began walking more confidently, only for a tiny Smart car to come hurtling past, causing a huge wave of water to hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 939

You deserved it 1 830

Bastard Bambi busts bumper

By SugarCoat - 08/06/2017 18:00

Today, I volunteered to go get ice cream if I could use my mother's car. She told me to be VERY careful. Not ten minutes later, I hit a deer, which got up and walked off as though nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 744

You deserved it 635

By elguapo3745 - 29/02/2016 18:20 - United States - Louisville

Today, I was woken by the sound of music coming from my living room at 1:30 am. My cat had managed to turn on the stereo and turn the volume all the way up. Just as I fell asleep again, there was a knock at the door. The police showed up about a noise complaint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 447

You deserved it 2 003

elguapo3745 tells us more.

elguapo3745 16

Monday 29 February 2016 23:41

I havent even met my neighbors, now i dont want to

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex Jealousy Friends AITA Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Thanksgiving Covid Argument Kids Parenting Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Money Work

The Top

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 434

You deserved it 46 510

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 823

You deserved it 4 306

The Top

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 299

You deserved it 7 209

Today, my friend said that his dad told him we couldn't hang out anymore, he thinks I'm a bad influence because I don't have all 90's in my classes. The only reason he knows I have below a 90 is because he's my geography teacher. I have an 87. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 509

You deserved it 1 489

Today, my airline lost my luggage when I flew back from France. They also lost my luggage when I flew to France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 251

You deserved it 2 216

Today, I got a zero on my math test. My teacher was convinced that I had written the answers on my arm. No answers, just really thick, black arm hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 519

You deserved it 3 330

Today, just a day prior to my vacation starting, I learned that my five-day "seasonal fever" is actually due to a blood infection from a bacteria. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 118

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 378

You deserved it 5 851