All the FMLs

Unionize

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 14:00

Today, I have come to the realization that I will likely never be happy at a job. Either it’s low pay, bad work/life balance, racist/homophobic coworkers, or terrible bosses and/or customers. I’ve worked jobs in several different fields and it’s all the same. Yet people say “No one wants to work!” Fuck that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 592

Random reasoning

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 12:00

Today, my boss fired me, saying he’d had a lot of patience with me, but now the time had come to part. Funny, a few months ago he told me that he had to have a lot of patience with each of my coworkers when they started, but that I was the only one who grasped it all right from the start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 104

Heartbreaking

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 04:00 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I learned that I'm highly allergic to onions. I love onions and they're in literally *everything*. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 146

Suave

By ip7 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Horsham

Today, I was sitting in a library when a cute boy approached me, so I grabbed the nearest book. When he asked me what I was reading, I said I was revising for an English test. He laughed and pointed out that my book was in French. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 139

You deserved it 21 866

Thanks, I guess…

By ButYTho - 06/11/2022 01:00 - Spain

Today, a friend and I celebrated our birthdays together with our mutual friends. I bought them a game from their favourite series, commissioned a sketch, and chipped with others to get them various other presents. I got a mug and a hentai t-shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 265

Word of the day

By Someone - 06/11/2022 04:00

Today, I've known that I'm dyspraxic for a long time. It was a real eye-opener when I found out about it, but there's still one problem: the majority of the population seems to be incapable of understanding the condition. I still get bullied for not being able to do simple tasks, even with the diagnosis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 148

Crossroads

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 02:00

Today, I had to face the fact that although I’ve been married for almost 2 years, my dream girl has come into my life and wants a relationship. I don’t know how to break it off with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 1 630

Let me sleep!

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 00:00

Today, I'm freshly unemployed and so exhausted from my former job that I can actually really use the rest. Too bad that, for reasons ranging from cat noises to period emergencies, I have woken up at 6 a.m. for 4 days in a row now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 176

How? Why?

By WetMorning - 05/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 672

The opposite of a party

By Hooperist - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Murrieta

Today, while sick with the flu, I had the police called on me by my older neighbors downstairs. They thought I was hosting a party at 3 in the morning. I was really just throwing up constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 764

You deserved it 1 930

Get out

By Anonymous - 05/11/2022 18:00

Today, I drove 10 hours on a broken foot to get away, because my drunk dad decided to shove me to the ground multiple times, and now I have to get fusion surgery on my foot. I also found out he’s trying to get me arrested for burglary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 133

Surprise backfire

By No kids - 05/11/2022 07:00 - United States - Eagle Mountain

Today, after two years of dating and my boyfriend knowing I hate kids and don’t want any, he surprised me with his 4 year-old daughter, thinking I would change my mind. I immediately dumped him, leaving him at the mall we were shopping at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 051

You deserved it 807

Unfair dismissal

By Anonymous - 05/11/2022 12:00 - Germany

Today, I got fired because I was “constantly sick”. Constantly in this case meaning: the one time the entire office had Covid, including myself, plus 4 single days in a whole year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 160

My little secret

By biggiejoe - 05/11/2022 10:00

Today, after I hooked up with a chick a few years ago and we ended up having a kid, we have been on and off for about 8 years. This whole time I have never met her family or her close friends. She has met every person in my family and pretty much knows all my friends. Anytime I bring this up she's defensive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 396

Red flag

By katwingz - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Fairfield

Today, after being together for only two weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership for my birthday, in a card that said, "So u can b hott! Luv u!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 304

You deserved it 6 351

Let me go home, for a start

By Anonymous - 05/11/2022 10:00 - Thailand - Huai Khwang

Today, I'm at a company seminar on the topic "Employee Happiness." The goal is to figure how to improve happiness in our workplace. The mandatory agenda runs for 14 hours straight and requires me to be away from my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 323

You deserved it 124

Excuses excuses

By Sparky - 05/11/2022 02:00

Today, I realized my ex-boyfriend is still in love with me. I told him I could never date him or be anything more than friends, telling him it’s creepy, but his response was, “Oh, well, my autism makes me see things differently.” I can’t get through to this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 221

Scary season ain't over just yet

By Anonymous - 05/11/2022 00:00

Today, I awoke to a series of almighty explosions in the middle of the night. Turns out I fell asleep with my AirPods in to a “Soothing rain” soundtrack, which had turned to “Storms and thunder” at some point. I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 386

Bushy

By bluedevil26 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time in a few months. Once she finished, she handed me the mirror and asked, "How does it feel to look human again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 116

You deserved it 12 771

Bad timing

By Sorry granny - 04/11/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, I learned that when a fly goes up your shirt into your armpit, it tickles very badly. I also found out that it's hard to explain this to your mother while she's trying to have a serious conversation with you about your grandmother's rapidly deteriorating health. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 152

Wage slave

By Anonymous - 04/11/2022 16:00

Today, I woke in the same way as every day, puking and hating life. It hasn’t been the same since my new boss started. I now want to start afresh, quit my job, and find a better way of living without ripping my eyes out. Why can’t I just win the lottery? FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 231

Hit and trundle

By Anonymous - 04/11/2022 14:00

Today, it was supposed to be my last day of work before flying off on my first foreign holiday in 4 years. Some bastard on an electric scooter ran into me at the bus stop and broke my leg so badly the doctors say I need pins and a metal cage. Waiting for surgery now. So long holiday, maybe next year, eh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 103

Social pariah

By Anonymous - 04/11/2022 12:00

Today, I was out with friends, A girl approached me out of nowhere and gave me a peck on the cheek, then yelled to my friend, "I kissed him, where's that drink you promised?" only for him to equally loudly reply, "I said I'd buy you a drink to TALK to him." Apparently, even bribery isn't enough for a woman to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 110

Hangry

By Pam - 04/11/2022 06:00 - Chile - Santiago

Today, I accidentally dropped the batch of bread that was ready for the oven, after waiting for two hours. We have nothing else to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 184

Theater kid issues

By Belle - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Berwyn

Today, all of the long hours I've spent rehearsing paid off because tonight I'll be the lead at the opening show of my school musical. This is a dream come true. Too bad I just got bronchitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 757

You deserved it 1 456

Timewaster

By Anonymous - 04/11/2022 11:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I spent the afternoon transplanting a whole bunch of corn seedlings that sprouted, even turning over the new soil with compost and fertiliser. While watering them in, I realised they're actually all just weeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 641

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 20:00 - United States - Enid

Today, my 24 year-old boyfriend said that he wanted to move out of our apartment, but also stay in a relationship. He's moving back in with his parents, over two hours away. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 129

Bruxism

By tiptoppc - 04/11/2022 00:00

Today, after waking up from a bad migraine which caused my teeth to clench, I found out that I broke a molar. A dentist told me it split down to the bone, so I need root canal and an extended crown. Then they told me the tooth below had also broke and has to be pulled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 83

Fair enough

By dumped - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because apparently I don't appreciate how he's different from other guys. I only told him that showering once a month was not normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 129

You deserved it 4 686

Bad vibes

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 16:00

Today, a guy I went on a few dates with and was looking forward to seeing again this Wednesday told me he is not sure he sees this going anywhere. This always happens and I have no idea what I am doing wrong. I have lost hope in finding a boyfriend ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 186

Keywords

Thanksgiving Politics Family Holidays Miscellaneous AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Cars Cheating Suspicious Contraception Love Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 856

You deserved it 4 565

Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 980

The Top

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 091

You deserved it 1 997

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 582

You deserved it 3 263

Today, I got to explain to my co-worker again why I can't move my "vacation" so she can take hers when she wants. Apparently, in her mind, her seniority at the company trumps my due date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 824

You deserved it 2 979

Today, my family got mad at me for installing toilet paper going under instead of over. Considering I'm the only one who fills the empty spool, I thought that it wouldn't matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 417

Today, I was volunteering at a local hospital. I was eagerly introducing myself to all the nurses, as I would be working with them all summer. It wasn't until I got home that I discovered the giant piece of lettuce stuck in my front teeth. So much for first impressions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 594

You deserved it 1 960

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 117

You deserved it 9 463