Relatable

Lazybones

By ProjectDude - 20/10/2021 17:00 - United States

Today, a group project for work was due. I honestly forgot about it and edited some words to make it seem like I worked on it. Did you know that Google Docs spreadsheet can track not only the changes made, but who made the changes? My colleagues were pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 2 231

Asshat

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. As my boss is an asshat who hates allowing sick leave, I thought I could power through it, but halfway through my workday I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. I had to go home early and now I can't move without pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 144

IQ isn't real

By Anonymous - 30/08/2022 02:00

Today, I spent 16 minutes doing a “free” IQ test. I then found out you had to pay, and then spent another 20 on another. Now I feel dumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 1 043

What could've been…

By Anonymous - 05/03/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I randomly bumped into the girl of my dreams, my high school sweetheart whom I lost 15 years ago when my parents decided to emigrate us. I couldn’t help myself, I went up to her hoping the old spark was still there. She was just as sweet now as she was then, just heavily pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 179

Remember the promise you made

By Anonymous - 12/03/2022 02:00

Today, my mom decided to go against every promise she's made to everyone once again and left us in financial ruin. How? She took advantage of my kindness, and didn't pay any of the money she owes me for driving my car, and for so much more. I'm more than $2,000 in debt now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 238

Thanks, spellcheck

By fuckspellcheck - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 028

You deserved it 62 691

Anonymous is typing…

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 05:00 - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Today, I finally wrote a DM to the girl I'm in love with, telling her not to say yes if her ex asked her out, and instead to go out with me. I then chickened out and deleted the message, but then realised she'd still get the notification on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 882

Truth bomb

By toomuch2process - 06/12/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I found out the truth about my and my siblings adoptions and why I have no contact with any extended family. Turns out our parents are half-siblings, who decided to adopt rather than risk any genetic anomalies. Their families didn’t approve of the relationship so they moved us far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 102

Grey's Anatomy has the same effect

By Anonymous - 10/12/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I discovered that my recent binge-watching of “Young Sheldon” has caused me to hear Jim Parsons’s voice narrating everything I read. Including this FML. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 726

Date night

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 22:26 - United States

Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 733

You deserved it 4 028

Harsh

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 16:59

Today, while talking to the girl I have a crush on, I bragged how people tell me I have a voice for radio. She responded, "And the face for it too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 801

Never. It never ends

By Anonymous - 29/10/2023 18:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I'm doing homework but still can't submit it, mainly due to the homework being bombarded more than three times during the week, from eight subjects, all due in three days. I sleep barely two hours a day, still not finishing the work and getting shitty exam marks. I wonder when this cycle of work will end… FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 111

Panic!

By daybyday - 22/11/2011 08:08 - Australia

Today, I found out that what I thought could be a life-threatening issue causing me chest pains was only because I over-obsessed about it. Now not only do I have social anxiety, but I get so anxious I can create fake illnesses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 671

You deserved it 6 377

Ideas?

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 15:00

Today, my dad told me my pregnancy stretch marks were really bad and unsightly, and that I should probably do something about them, as though there was some miracle cure for them that I’m just too lazy to go and buy from the shops. If this gets published, I expect revenge ideas in the comments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 194

That's not a real thing

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 11:00 - United Kingdom - Flitwick

Today, after talking to a girl for a little over a month, and both of us saying we liked each other and FaceTiming each other for multiple hours each day, she told me I’m “too easy to talk to” and friendzoned me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 141

Some shit indeed

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I woke up, like every other day, with no girlfriend, no family, no friends, and having to go to my second job. I haven't gotten a day off in months and somehow barely can afford rent. I spend within my means and budget appropriately, but there's always some shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 125

The main antagonist

By Anonymous - 24/07/2023 06:00

Today, my wife has been grumpy all day, because she decided to get herself worked up over an argument we had and then peacefully settled three months ago. Like she suddenly gets to reopen the argument for no reason. I’m refusing to continue the argument on principle, hence her grumpiness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 185

Virtual hugs

By Anonymous - 10/05/2023 09:00 - Philippines - Angeles City

Today, my aunt vented her anger on us for no reason, and her words really cut like a knife. I always pray that someday I'll have a home that I can call my own, where I can lay my head and heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 132

It's a conspiracy!

By Help - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family dragged me to an Alien-themed museum. They're convinced they were once abducted and felt up by creatures from outer space. They talk, and spend all their money, on nothing else. I'm hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 751

You deserved it 2 982

Wild mood swings

By Anonymous - 19/09/2022 00:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, once again, my partner is screaming at me for something that I have done and, as usual, she won't tell what it was, only that, "You know what you did," and, as usual, I have no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 194

Not sure it's the age difference…

By Anonymous - 10/05/2022 22:00

Today, I regret ever deciding to ask out a younger man. I’m 27 and he’s 21. I’m worried about my career, he’s worried about his Xbox; I love my parents, he’s still rebelling against his like an emo teenager; I want romance, he likes to wobble my breasts while giggling, saying, “Boobies.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 1 939

Friends theme music plays

By Anonymous - 24/06/2020 05:01

Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 200

Well, actually…

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 16:01 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, and almost every day, my mother tells me she loves me, and I say I love her back, even though I don’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 767

Hug me, but don't

By Help me - 03/01/2023 00:00

Today, I'm incredibly depressed because of touch-starvation. I also have haphephobia, the fear of being touched, in addition to crippling social anxiety. Why do I feel as though I was intentionally made to be as utterly miserable as possible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 263

Take the L, dude

By the real loser - 06/11/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, I was going through different social media sites, laughing at the people from high school who’d either gotten fat or divorced or anything of the sort. Then I realized how sad it was to search out and still laugh at people from high school. I need to move on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 733

Heavy emphasis

By James - 04/10/2024 22:00 - Canada - Laval

Today, I was having a passionate conversation about video games with a friend in our school cafeteria when I leaned back in my chair as I empathized a point. I leaned a little too far, tipped over, and ended up sprawled out on the floor, still trying to finish my point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 372

Unhealthy relationship

By Lance from the Serfs is a snacc - 03/05/2021 00:30

Today, I had to admit that I'm polyamorous. Well, I'm in several relationships. Parasocial relationships. With YouTubers and Twitch streamers. I talk to them through the screen. I can't remember what it's like to have real-life friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 1 088

Nice to see you

By meeee - 13/02/2021 23:01

Today, I saw my 89 year-old grandmother naked. She just moved in with us and apparently, she has an "open door policy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 109

Feeling faint

By jacey - 12/06/2021 02:01

Today, I discovered that my body will go straight to “weak and lightheaded” before it even considers “hungry.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 96

Rural charm

By jlc82 - 17/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, the most exciting thing going on in my hometown is a that cow escaped its slaughterhouse transport, only to be put down by our highway patrol. He's got his own Facebook page and everything. Welcome to Ohio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 124

Keywords

Dogs Transportation Accident Thanksgiving Cars Love Embarrassing Alcohol Awkward Animals Scary Work Annoying Pizza Health Healthy Lifestyle Miscellaneous Family Food Stressed out Kids Parents Exhausted Confused Relatable Thief Money Birthday Argument Parenting

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 825

You deserved it 4 307

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact that both of my roommates are aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 562

You deserved it 3 748

The Top

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 606

You deserved it 11 669

Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 160

You deserved it 5 500

Today, my mom volunteered me to house-sit for one of her friends. This lady has texted me over ten times in less than 24 hours, called me unreasonable for not dropping jury duty to meet with her, and has messaged my mom multiple times to complain about me. My mom already said I would do this for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 711

You deserved it 1 685

Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out, "Well fuck you too." Very awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 173

You deserved it 41 736

Today, I got my fake ID and went out with the boys to dinner and the bars. One of my friends asked to see my ID. He noticed my birthday didn't make me over 21. I paid $170 for a fake ID with my real birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 409

You deserved it 76 561

Today, while I was singing a song with my guitar at a college open mic, my eyes started to burn, causing me to tear up and stop playing. Everyone in the audience thought I'd actually started to cry mid-performance. I ended up having to leave the stage teary-eyed and embarrassed myself in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 156