That's why you carry your 9mm with you!

Imagine what he uses on the neighbor's dog if it takes a shit in their yard

The bigger the scorpion, the less poison, but scarier is the huge ******.

I would've gotten the hell out of that bathroom in about 0.2 milliseconds

That would be a sh- *tackled to ground*

Come live in Canada! There's no scorpions where I live, but you do have to deal with the occasional caribou or moose dangling from the air vent over your head while you brush your teeth.

71: that happened to me last week!

If they were takin a shit, yes it would suck, yet it would be convenient nevertheless.

71- And beavers.

I got bitten by a black widow while taking a crap. It was unpleasant.

88: Can't honestly say I've ever had any problems with beaver in my bathroom lol

71 - No scorpions here in Australia either! You just have to be careful of the kangaroos and koalas coming out of your air vent and sink :(

Ah England.. The worst we get is a house spider.

117- What part of Australia do you live in? Scorpions are rather common here in the northern states. The southern states I'm not too sure about...

Yeah I keep finding the ******* in my living room and I'm in the south west of Aus

No, no. You really have to watch out for the goannas in the air vents. Those things look cute until they fight you for the toilet.

As for being outside, you have the stonefish and blue-ringed octopus, deadly snakes and spiders, and exploding trees.

115- Maybe its just me then...Edmonton is a weird place.

149: Truly is, fellow E-towner.

No, joyful. OP loves scorpions.

OP's a scorpion whisperer.

Duck face...

It took you over an hour to get the hell out?? What the hell? I would have ran out of there as soon as I saw that thing!!

47-sorry I had to say it but I like ur hair:D

Like your face

Funnily enough, larger scorpions are generally less dangerous. It's the small ones which are generally more deadly.

That was pretty funny to imagine.

OP will stand beneath it for an hour, but doesn't have the courage to run from it?

Mortal Kombat reference ftw

Skarner

Clever. I'm shocked only one other person caught the Mortal Kombat reference.

As soon as I read that comment I laughed so hard. Scorpion is my favourite character. That comment was such a win.

I don't know about you all, but I leave tennis racquets and sticks in my bathroom. Those damn scorpions, gotta stay prepared.

I have a baseball bat and a frying pan in my bathroom for the cold winter days when a mouse or bird tries to come thru the air vent to get warm

Call Brandon Frasier! He's been against the scorpion king!

Your movie references are awful...

I assume in the early morning whilst shouting out "Here I am!"?

I feel like the only person who gets this reference. Now I feel old.

I get the reference but if you hit a scorpion you risk it being a mama scorpion with her brat pack riding along with her.

you just had to mention spiders, didn't you? XD but fyl, OP, just imagine youre in the bathoom and suddenly in the shouwer out comes a scorpion or a spider dangling, you blissfully unaware until you pull it from your hair. be glad something like that didn't happen to you....

I'm scared shitless of those ******* earwigs!! I find them in my bathroom all the time and I hate it

I've never actually witnessed a camel spider in person but judged by videos of them.. beasts, i would cry and scream like a little girl.

Mother of god O.O I just googled that to see what you meant. I'm never going to sleep again.

Camel spiders are actually relatively harmless. They look frightening, but are not venomous. And they aren't actually spiders :-)

42- No shit they aren't! They are dinosaurs!!!!

I'm so glad all I have to deal with in Louisiana are huge snakes and tiny poisonous brown spiders. (sarcasm) I hate this place!!! *shudders*

I love Louisiana.. Cotton mouths, black widows, and all!

90- That is because of your acid trip. :)

18 - Camel crickets. They love livng in damp corners, such as showers. They're hard to kill because 1) They're huge and fast, 2) They are more likely to jump towards you than away from you, and 3) The only bugs that get rid of them are centipedes. TL;DR: Google is your friend.

The little ones are the most dangerous!

^That's exactly what #10 just said.

I would think it would be the opposite but yep! the smaller ones are more venomous. 14, how's your cat now? Lol

Enslaved - She won't be having anymore "snacks", that's for certain lol! I don't know why that was removed either. But eh. On a related note, the same goes for spiders generally. At least it wasn't a huge ass spider though :| I'd find that more terrifying than any scorpion that's for sure.

It's a shame because that FML was funny and I recognized your name right away.(: I'm not afraid of spiders (have two huge banana one in my backyard as we speak). I was playing that "Draw Something" game and my word was "scorpion" so I looked at picture after picture so that I could copy the drawing. I was fascinate but I guess if it was live and dangling close to my face, I might be singing a different tune.:P

The smaller one or more deadly because they venom is more concentrated because there smaller.

#10- I was about to say the same thing! Haha Indiana Jones teaches you everything. :P

My next victim awaits me...Muhahaha! >:D

It's the small scorpions you should be afraid of. The smaller the scorpion, the more poisonous.

I'm sure op's teeth are very clean, but I think it's their pants that we have to worry about now.