Cats, Neighbours, Thief and Animals: Alas, poor Salem

Alas, poor Salem

By Stalked - 15/11/2011 00:46 - United States

Today, a policeman and I confronted my psychotic neighbor, who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 710

You deserved it 2 770

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Nice try, Janet

By Anonymous - 06/04/2014 19:37

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 785

You deserved it 3 512

By Nekro_Kat - 10/08/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 803

You deserved it 3 898

Cat Burglar!

By Aimee Lutz - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I found my lost cat. As I was hooking it up to a leash to get it in my car, a man approached and asked what I was doing. His kids alerted him that there was a woman stealing their cat from their front lawn. It was not my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 408

You deserved it 1 335

Bottom line

By strangeprincess - 09/09/2019 16:00

Today, I had to put my cat to sleep after she was in an accident. While I was crying hysterically, the vet asked me for $230. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 893

You deserved it 311

By Username - 14/08/2011 07:16 - United States

Today, I spent $500 buying my lost cat back from a jerk who thought it was his. I get home and my mom tells me that she'd sold it to the same guy for $10 because she thought the cat was ruining my love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 955

You deserved it 6 436

Alas…

By Mum2be - 15/08/2021 04:01

Today, I saved a kitten from the streets, cleaned her up and asked the vet what I should do with her because she was the sweetest thing and my cat has a highly contagious illness. The vet had to put her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 125

Karen has concerns

By go away karen! - 29/01/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I had to call the cops on my batshit crazy neighbor, who’s repeatedly threatened to steal my dog. I finally got her ass on camera. She swears that my dog is being abused because it prefers to sleep outside instead of being in the house. Imagine that, an animal that likes being outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 140

The creepy guy next door

By Anonymous - 05/06/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 110

You deserved it 4 484

By seriously - 24/05/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 744

You deserved it 4 575

Cats and Cars

By Anonymous - 21/07/2014 22:49 - United States - Dublin

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 616

You deserved it 5 918

FYLDeep 25

Tuesday 15 November 2011 8:41

Well I hope that bitch is locked up in a jail-cell now.

deviable 9

Tuesday 15 November 2011 8:45

Tell her human bites cause cancer. Then bite her.

Comments

blackman100 20

Wednesday 16 November 2011 6:00

Make the police put their glock to her head and force the info outta' her. I bet she will spill. But maybe thats a little violent for the police.

asherm 15

Wednesday 16 November 2011 6:03

I hope you get your cat back and she gets locked up!!

blackman100 20

Wednesday 16 November 2011 6:05

Shotgun sounds more reasonable. It's a little more police like and more intimidating.

italiianxloveer 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 6:11

I feel so sorry for you and your pet...

BellaMarta 19

Wednesday 16 November 2011 6:12

a police officer and *I*

mesyoup3zY 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 7:02

My neighbor stole my cat too. I feel for you

cassi135t 1

Wednesday 16 November 2011 7:03

Well...that's comforting. I probably shouldn't read FML's before I go to sleep.

sneakymcpothead 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 8:14

How can anyone say YDI that's not cool I love my cat and would kill a bitch if they took my cat ******* psychotics

BlazingFire 4

Wednesday 16 November 2011 8:21

The neighbour could stolen it from inside. Just saying. And how does the owner know if their neighbour stole the cat I wonder.

Grimmerie 31

Wednesday 16 November 2011 9:41

132, play in traffic.

Keywords

Clothes Relatable Miscellaneous Shoes Insurance Cars Transportation Health Work Cheating Love Embarrassing Clumsy Food Awkward Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Dogs Cute Ironic Pranks Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I was getting ready to relax on my couch and watch TV under a comforter. I had a bag of snacks and the remote in one hand, and a glass of Coke in the other. Usually, I throw the remote onto the couch before settling down… only this time I had it in my left hand and not my right. At least the glass didn't shatter this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 400

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 535

You deserved it 15 075

The Top

Today, I learned from my father that all I had to do was eat right and exercise and I would be bipolar free. Gee, why hadn't I thought of that yet? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 727

You deserved it 192

Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 710

You deserved it 5 398

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 603

You deserved it 26 781

Today, no matter what I do, Facebook won't stop showing me pitbulls on my feed. I've been nearly killed by one a dozen times in completely unprovoked attacks, even ones owned by perfectly good people, so it triggers a panic response whenever I see one. Take your ugly murder beasts somewhere else, for fuck's sake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 456

Today, I found out that not only did I get the best blowjob of my life on New Year's Eve, I also got gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 548

Today, my two moms were telling some fairly obscene jokes about their sex life. When I told them to stop making such vulgar jokes, they turned to me and said, "What makes you think we were joking?" They then clarified that they were in fact being completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 874

You deserved it 3 259

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments