Intimacy: Backhanded - FML

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 067

You deserved it 4 504

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Spicy

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 144

You deserved it 36 928

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 806

You deserved it 5 456

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 113

You deserved it 10 955

Shaving!

By John Doe - 07/01/2020 05:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 064

You deserved it 466

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 683

You deserved it 60 136

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 16:21 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 730

You deserved it 8 005

By Anonymous - 15/03/2012 11:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 176

You deserved it 3 727

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:24 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 069

You deserved it 3 228

Romance me please

By trembelwick - 03/12/2011 10:04 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 792

You deserved it 6 071

By FreshDonuts - 28/02/2015 05:03 - United States - Antioch

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 330

You deserved it 6 277

Next

Top comments

CryMoreFMLs 14

Wednesday 14 September 2011 23:50

Fun sized!

PSQ91 6

Wednesday 14 September 2011 23:54

She's trying not be offensive. You should be grateful to have her.

Comments

icic6772 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 1:14

I'm not trying to be racist but are you Asian?

EPICROCKERNINJA 8

Thursday 15 September 2011 1:16

Uh....isn't that a good thing? I mean she likes you just as you are...

perdix 29

Thursday 15 September 2011 1:22

Wow! Now you have to live in constant fear of your girl getting her pussy reamed out by a guy who is normal. You know what they say, "Once you go average, you never go back."

ganjaone 2

Thursday 15 September 2011 1:29

U should be grateful to have her.

AMart65 5

Thursday 15 September 2011 7:08

love the profile pic!

HomeAl0ne 20

Thursday 15 September 2011 1:33

Cheer up, there's quite a market for midget ****.

wriptidez 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 1:43

ismt average 6 or 7 inches

woodrow68oo 2

Friday 16 September 2011 22:24

Average in America for caucasion males is about 5.5". The more honest men become, the smaller the average becomes.

tjmsc83 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 1:52

Whats your girlfriend doing out of the kitchen?

rabblegabble 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 2:08

I love my boyfriends 5 inter

tonnyfong 3

Thursday 15 September 2011 2:11

It's must be incredibly small to be "cute". Lol. Fyl.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Thursday 15 September 2011 2:12

No, the equivalent is a loose pussy. Plenty of guys don't mind/prefer small ****.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Shopping Parenting Love AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Social Media Kids Friends Dogs Pranks Relatable Housework Embarrassing Work Awkward Transportation Cars Health Sports Accident Mental health Family Annoying Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist

The Top

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 601

You deserved it 8 701

Today, I visited the best cafe for the fourth time in a week. I’ve tried not to flirt with the same (hot) barista, I even mentioned my partner, but we chat and joke every time, and get on well. After I said bye and left, I heard a hasty, “Love you, bye.” It's maybe a joke, but he’s a total catch, and I don't know if I can go back there now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 449

The Top

Today, my wannabe psychologist of a brother accused me of lying about all the violence and emotional abuse my ex inflicted on me, all because I went into "too much detail" when describing it, which he says is something only liars do. Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 615

You deserved it 1 639

Today, I shat myself at work. To get home, I have to take two buses with a 20-minute wait in-between. So yes everyone, I'll be 'Shit Girl' for the next two hours, and probably behind my back at work for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 171

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 42

Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 426

You deserved it 22 872

Today, my boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me on my 30th birthday, through text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 104

Today, my new bikini must be cheap as shit because I tanned nicely where I put on sunscreen, but where I didn’t apply it under the bikini I’ve gotten super red sunburn on my butt, my lady bits, and my boobs. My nipples look like the ends of red felt tip pens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 641

You deserved it 838