Work, Wanker and Intimacy: Call the fuzz

Call the fuzz

By MBG - 05/06/2009 07:43 - Australia

Today, I had the closing shift at work in a café and there was a man and lady left. I made them coffee and started to close up. When the lady finished her coffee, she grabbed my arm and said, "I think that man is masturbating" and leaves in a hurry. I had to wait for him to finish before closing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 881

You deserved it 4 338

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/02/2017 22:00

Today, as I was at Starbucks writing a paper, a man came and sat next to me. He started staring at me, then I noticed his hands were down his pants. It was noticeable that he was masturbating, so I went to tell a worker. They just said, "He's a regular" and didn't do anything about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 765

You deserved it 708

Creepy

By Finn - 05/07/2016 06:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went to grab a coffee at a new café in town. While sipping my coffee, I noticed a man staring at me through the window. I thought he was browsing the menu before I looked up mid-sip to him staring at me in the eye, sucking on his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 496

You deserved it 977

Get on with it

By Anonymous - 07/04/2014 00:20 - Australia - Spearwood

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 978

You deserved it 3 554

I just want to go home

By Username - 23/11/2010 20:53

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 2 484

By OhGodWhy - 29/12/2016 23:30 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 762

You deserved it 884

Creepypasta

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 06:06 - United States

Today, while I was working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good… you left a nipple." and slowly licked it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 689

You deserved it 3 678

Oh, hello…

By superclutz - 07/07/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 434

You deserved it 21 179

Promoted!

By Worst Way To Get Promoted - 25/09/2019 16:00

Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 029

You deserved it 163

By sadfantasy - 31/03/2016 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 012

You deserved it 1 639

By Anonymous - 05/04/2013 16:26 - United States

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 992

You deserved it 3 034

RyeBreadBoy 0

Friday 5 June 2009 16:29

i'm pretty sure you could've thrown him out at that point.

may_cause_fail 0

Friday 5 June 2009 16:30

The coffee was just that good?

Comments

coffeennicotine 0

Friday 5 June 2009 19:06

Dumbass, YDI for not throwing him out and calling the police.

rachaelb07 6

Friday 5 June 2009 19:09

#25- Hahah! Very clever! :)

krovek42 0

Friday 5 June 2009 19:10

throw his ass out

aback 4

Friday 5 June 2009 19:25

That's really taking customer service too far. Unless you're running a whorehouse, call the cops, instead.

snavula 0

Friday 5 June 2009 19:27

#55, I agree that it is a completely normal act but its disrespectful to do so in public, not to mention unsanitary. I also agree we are sexually suppressed but this can be solved through a proper education and the right information, not allowing people to ********** where other people eat and drink. You don't shit where you eat, you shouldn't secrete bodily fluids there either. And yes we do have a right to define where one may conduct sexual business if it so happens to be in a privately owned business. He could have just as easily been discrete about it and went to the bathroom if he really has a masturbation problem. The OP deserves it but not for the reason you stated.

catatonicsleep 17

Friday 5 June 2009 19:40

You should have poured hot coffee on him, if his penis is scalded he won't be doing that for a while....

BaldOuting 0

Friday 5 June 2009 19:48

haha #58 - that would teach him a lesson, but possibly land OP in jail for assault and battery.

aback 4

Friday 5 June 2009 19:55

His mistake--he thought he was at Starfucks.

Hullaballoo 0

Friday 5 June 2009 20:04

Why did you wait? If he's exposing himself, you could have called the cops. If you're closing, you could have kicked him out. There were options there and you chose, for some reason I can't figure out, not to use them. Weird.