Intimacy: Excuuuuuuse me?

Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 468

You deserved it 11 502

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Same thing different taste

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 070

You deserved it 1 154

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 306

You deserved it 2 763

Oh yeah?

By alexis89 - 26/05/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 533

You deserved it 20 192

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 964

You deserved it 12 726

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 02:48 - United States - Gainesboro

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 223

You deserved it 4 935

Turned on

By Nicki - 21/12/2011 12:30 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 595

You deserved it 31 884

Talk to me baby

By Anonymous - 17/06/2010 22:56 - United States

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 351

You deserved it 15 977

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 05:31 - United States

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 973

You deserved it 7 285

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 527

You deserved it 6 871

Orders

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 177

You deserved it 9 147

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

Monday 24 December 2012 18:58

"Perform intercourse on me in a mildly rough manner..."

jdm_powered 6

Monday 24 December 2012 18:58

Like a sir.

Comments

lilpanda4 5

Tuesday 25 December 2012 6:38

******* has no emotional value, and say making love tells him that you love him enough to be something more than just some girl he ****** so yea I can see why he was mad.

tehdarkness 21

Tuesday 25 December 2012 7:21

OMG... Time for a new bf. It's just natural for that to slip out from time to time. He's lucky that he has someone that wants him so passionately!

demonkitty619 8

Tuesday 25 December 2012 8:31

I find it to be a major turn off when my significant other uses dirty talk. I can see where he is coming from.

Mademoiselle_fml 34

Tuesday 25 December 2012 10:06

Surprised how many people actually side with OP's boyfriend here. It's kinda weird to me, but I do know some guys are turned off by my constant swearing. Sometimes they find it really odd because I have the quietest, sweetest voice in the whole universe... and then I drop an f-bomb. But I really don't have a problem because my boyfriend's fine with my language. I just hope OP and her boyfriend can work something out because that (to me, anyway) seems like one of the worst mood-killers ever D:

LaLince 40

Tuesday 25 December 2012 10:21

dump him now

binkztaah 2

Tuesday 25 December 2012 11:08

Wat a loser

Ominn 6

Tuesday 25 December 2012 12:50

Surprised how many people can't take a bloody joke. There's been thousands of posts where someone is obviously just kidding around, and the OP takes it way too seriously. To top it off, the comments section is filled with significantly humorless people. Get the sticks out your butts, the egg nog in your guts, and ask for a sense of humor for Christmas! Merry Christmas, by the way.