Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Excuuuuuuuuse me!

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Excuuuuuuuuse me!

By LadySteveMartin - 02/04/2013 00:18 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 281

You deserved it 8 542

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 20:18 - Jamaica - Kingston

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 217

You deserved it 5 877

Good girl

By bianca131 - 10/11/2015 03:42 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with someone I've been casually seeing. He got all weird during it, and said, "That's a good girl". Once he left, I told my housemates about it. Now every time I do something nice for them, they respond, "That's a good girl". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 008

You deserved it 8 221

Double take

By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 08:26 - Libyan Arab Jamahiriya

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 655

You deserved it 3 717

By aspiemeanswell - 05/11/2014 18:49 - Germany - Rudolstadt

Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 822

You deserved it 3 310

By you+me-clothes=53>< - 19/11/2013 17:13 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 103

You deserved it 9 058

Good question

By Juliett - 29/08/2019 19:00 - United States - Wisconsin Rapids

Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 866

You deserved it 315

Smooth talker

By pixie - 17/02/2009 08:10 - United States

Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said, "You smell really good." He turned to me and said, "You don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 861

You deserved it 13 793

Backhanded

By kiwi - 13/02/2009 19:24 - United Kingdom

Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 427

You deserved it 5 616

Douche

By YouDontSay - 10/05/2015 15:35 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 636

You deserved it 6 929

Face gone out of control

By UnfortunatelyAmusing - 05/11/2013 00:25 - United States - Princeton Junction

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 295

You deserved it 8 679

Not_Impressed13 9

Tuesday 2 April 2013 9:33

The important thing to remember is that you had an ****** face.

Ashamed_Sister 60

Tuesday 2 April 2013 9:36

Maybe he can enjoy a Steve-Martin-face because he is secretly gay. At least your face reminds him of something good.

Comments

Ray_of_midnight 22

Tuesday 2 April 2013 19:26

Comedy is not pretty....

BaronVonSteuben 5

Tuesday 2 April 2013 21:41

bwahahahaha that sucks, but that's funny

Dmanrock29 1

Tuesday 2 April 2013 22:08

Better Steve Martin than Steve Buscemi

Megan639 16

Wednesday 3 April 2013 2:27

Well it's a little awkward but not a deal breaker...

dead_insects 18

Wednesday 3 April 2013 4:29

look at the bright side: he made you cum

akstyle 3

Wednesday 3 April 2013 6:44

He was giving you a Neg (an ambiguous statement or seemingly accidental insult with the intent of actively demonstrating a lack of interest in someone) you like from the book, The Game by Neil Strauss! It keeps you unsure with where you stand with him. It kind of like say, Wow those are some nice earrings you have there....They kind of remind me of the ones my grandma use to have! Did he just put me down or give me a compliment! Read the book it is great!