Birthday and Drugs: Far out, man

Far out, man

By shroomda - 29/06/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I called my dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell phone number was. She then informed me that our dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 245

You deserved it 3 407

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 1 155

By Kellye - 16/09/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 339

You deserved it 2 527

By CaptainByron - 28/04/2017 00:00

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 383

You deserved it 313

By No one special. - 12/12/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 497

You deserved it 2 433

By seb21 - 09/02/2009 02:32 - United States

Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 521

You deserved it 2 324

By thanks - 02/05/2014 18:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 000

You deserved it 3 524

By Anonymous - 09/12/2012 06:43 - United States

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 857

You deserved it 3 088

Understanding

By Anonymous - 02/09/2020 05:56 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, it was my dad's 60th. I was planning on calling him early, but due to a client (I'm a social worker) ending up in hospital because her husband beat her up, I couldn't call him until 2:30. My mum phoned me in tears, yelling that I was a bad daughter and obviously didn't care about my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 746

Arrested

By shikushiku - 03/08/2016 03:12 - United States - Plano

Today, my father went missing. Naturally worried, we searched his workplace, hospitals, and other locations. Turns out he got arrested for driving around town drunk out of his mind. Oh, and it's my birthday. Thanks for throwing me a great (search) party, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 382

You deserved it 989

By Anonymous - 09/04/2009 18:48 - United States

Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 165

You deserved it 3 550

tipsypiink 0

Monday 29 June 2009 19:07

HOLY ****, I BOUGHT SHROOMS FROM YOUR DAD AT BONNAROO.

owlcansing 0

Monday 29 June 2009 19:40

Well look at the bright side - he'll still have a "cell".

Comments

expen_dable 0

Monday 29 June 2009 19:27

damnit I knew I should have went to bonaroo...next year...

GrapefruitZoe 0

Monday 29 June 2009 20:50

I don't think he's a loser, I'm gonna go with FTG (**** the government) on this one.

NoNameAtAll_fml 1

Monday 29 June 2009 19:28

le_journey 0

Monday 29 June 2009 21:52

LOL. He was at EDC for sure. Gotta watch out for those undercover narcs...

MeganH0LLYW00D 0

Monday 29 June 2009 19:32

Hm... So what's his number.. And how much. Come on, Don't hold out on us.

LordOfTheHobos 0

Monday 29 June 2009 19:33

I agree with #16

Blake444 0

Monday 29 June 2009 19:33

YDI for having a dad .... jkjk but that sucks my dad has 2 DUI's one more and he goes to jail hopefully ur dad will learn his lesson tho

MeganH0LLYW00D 0

Monday 29 June 2009 19:39

You are 16.

Blake444 0

Monday 29 June 2009 19:43

i agree with 16 too

girandwogpig 0

Monday 29 June 2009 22:58

HAHA FTW!!!

quackquackquac 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 4:02

LOL! I was going to say that, but you beat me...

bleepyourlife 0

Monday 29 June 2009 20:03

i disagree with 16.

Missnoname_fml 0

Monday 29 June 2009 20:49

16 might be right.

Sawadee 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 4:41

omg...this is hilarious

cattoe7 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 5:06

#16 is right

Toas7 0

Monday 29 June 2009 19:38

Shit. That's a bitch. The government should really pull their noses out of other people's asses. Who cares if some kid wanted to trip, and who cares if your dad sold them? FY dad's L for getting canned over something that isn't anyone's business.

SammyS2012 21

Thursday 6 September 2012 8:01

So murdering someone shouldn't be illegal? It's not the government's business if someone stabbed another, stole valuable items, etc... A government makes laws to protect their people. Shrooms aren't exactly the safest thing to pass around. Someone could be allergic or they can just not handle it well and cause death. Government is well within their right to regulate that.