Miscellaneous: Freaked

Freaked

By paranoid - 06/06/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 691

You deserved it 55 066

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Same thing different taste

By Eyesore - 16/04/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 200

You deserved it 86 627

Smooth

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 546

By bet a woman would've been thanked - 07/05/2013 20:21 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 123

You deserved it 3 113

Bad boy

By Dammit - 31/05/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 112

By BIZZMAL - 05/01/2011 02:44 - United States

Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 312

You deserved it 32 635

Awkward

By ellinor - 17/09/2010 20:33 - Sweden

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 519

You deserved it 37 207

By see you next cunt - 18/03/2014 19:44 - United States

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 959

You deserved it 5 133

Look out!

By station - 05/05/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was walking out of the train station when an old man grabbed me. I started screaming, yelling, "HELP" like a madwoman and tried pushing him away - that's when I saw the golf cart rush past me. He was trying to push me aside from getting run over. Everyone started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 952

You deserved it 57 235

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 03:59 - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 296

You deserved it 2 904

By ktreens - 19/10/2012 04:06 - Canada - Brandon

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 791

You deserved it 26 436

shiroun 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 12:07

What the hell is with all the paranoid women? If theres a shadow behind you it doesnt automatically mean that youre about to get raped.

je_tdwp 4

Tuesday 28 June 2011 5:13

Who the hell waves their arms to ward off an attacker? Are you dealing with a raccoon or a mugger here?

Comments

ISuperfantastica_fml 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 15:25

OMFG this sounds like something i would do. FYL

iloveericmaynor 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 15:29

omg youre ******* stupid. glance behind you if youre paranoid or speed up a little... or if youre that paranoid dont walk alone at night. im glad the jogger took it well. i wouldve punched you in the face

Nosferatu2894 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 15:34

#48, read a ******* dictionary. Paranoia is defined as baseless or excessive fear, how can it be necessary? Should you be afraid of the nice guy trying to buy you a drink "just cuz"?

LuLu25_fml 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 15:38

lmao your dumbbbbb

citruschick 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 15:38

Haha I went jogging today

tyonclav 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 15:46

I think you have a slight problem. Go talk to someone.

ithedarkknight 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 15:55

what a loser lol dont get any attention so you try faking one if i was the jogger i would of ran past u and said attention *****/crazy bitch~!

xiateababyx 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 16:02

why the hell would you do that.?????? you were on a public sidewalk OTHER PEOPLE WILL BE THERE YDI

pyromance 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 16:10

some people are just so dumb! i know it's already been said, but NOT EVERY THING YOU SEE (or sees u) WANTS/ IS GONNA RAPE U!!! i mean shit man, u sound like my mom. she's always telling me to "be very very careful" around people, especially at night. well **** that. and people probably don't even want to go near u. that's why u are walking alone, isn't it? everyone hates u and yo damn flailing, don't they? i figured.